


Blood, Sweat and Vengeance

by Stayloose



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cloudy with a chance of Romance, Family, Friendship, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 05:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 26,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5571982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stayloose/pseuds/Stayloose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Indra’s entire face darkened, her anger boiling to the surface. Her hands twitched slightly as she repressed the urge to strike Lexa. Right in her smug little face. ‘Who the hell does she think she is’, thought Indra.</p><p>.<br/>.<br/>Or ... what happened between seasons 2 & 3</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Murderous Desires

**Author's Note:**

> A story based around mainly around Lexa and her life, including flashbacks. Honestly, I think she's one of the most interesting characters on the show. Had this idea a little after I saw the end of season 2, but I've been a bit too busy to write until now. 
> 
> Anyway, story is set (mainly) a few weeks after the season 2 finale.

Lexa sat preoccupied in her seat, absentmindedly twirling her knife. She was distracted, her mind elsewhere. It was the commotion nearby that brought her crashing back to reality. It wasn’t often that Indra barged in without any announcement or warning. Judging by the furious look on her face, Lexa could already tell what this was about. Her. Nothing and nobody else could pierce Indra’s tough outer shell like she did. Watching her now, Lexa could see that her hands were shaking. Not out of fear or worry. Anger. A pure, unadulterated anger that had consumed her. Again. 

“You have to do something about this Lexa. This has gone far enough. You need to act. Give the kill order, now!”

Indra really wasn’t in the right state of mind, Lexa told herself. She couldn’t possibly think that Lexa would ever give that command. They had been through far too much together. Lexa remained silent, not even bothering to acknowledge the ridiculousness of Indra’s request. There were many lines that Lexa was prepared to cross for the sake of protecting her people. But this, this was not one of them. Finally, she stared Indra down, glaring into her eyes she answered as coldly as possible, “No”.

Indra wasn’t the type to take no for an answer. It was what made her such a good advisor, maybe even a friend – on her good days. Right now Lexa was not in the mood for an argument. Or any discussion involving Indra’s former second. It had been painful enough for Lexa when she had left, not even bothering to say goodbye. Indra however, had felt betrayed. It stung, that the girl she had trained ever since being able to walk could completely cut ties with the entire clan.

This wasn’t the first time that Indra had expressed a desire to kill her protégé. It wasn’t even the first time that she had approached Lexa, asking for her blessing. Really, Lexa told herself, it wasn’t all that surprising that Indra was campaigning for action to be taken. Not with history repeating itself only a few weeks ago, when Octavia had left. Realising that this is probably what had re-ignited Indra’s fury, Lexa attempted to reason with her. 

“Look Indra, I understand that you’re upset about Octavia leaving, but you can’t barge in here and expect me to give you permission for this”.

Indra’s entire face darkened, her anger boiling to the surface. Her hands twitched slightly as she repressed the urge to strike Lexa. Right in her smug little face. ‘Who the hell does she think she is’, thought Indra. Struggling to contain her immense irritation, she stared directly at Lexa. Practically hissing, Indra replied, “This has nothing to do with Octavia. Leave her out of it”. Seeing that Lexa didn’t understand, she continued with her rant.

“Another one of my men is dead. That’s the third body she has dropped this week. People are dying and it’s your fault, Lexa! Your hesitation when it concerns her has to stop. You let her leave! You refused to send people after her to bring her back! You are still protecting her, even now. When she’s killing us off one by one. This has to end. Immediately!”

Lexa’s on her feet in an instant. The knife she had been toying with earlier was now clutched firmly in her grip. Her entire body is shivering with rage. Lexa swallows, trying to reign in her temper. She doesn’t like losing control. Every time that someone mentions her though, whether it be in an offhand way, or a call to arms like now; she loses it. How could people forget so easily? They had all known how much Robin had meant to her. She had left sure, and it had hurt. Lexa was probably the most affected, but at least she understood why. After Costia, after Lexa had shut everyone out; there hadn’t been any reason for her to stay.

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do”, Lexa practically growls at Indra. “You don’t have that right, not anymore. She left, Indra. Move on. Robin isn’t coming back. She will never come back! There is nothing left for her here. Just the memories of every person that she has ever lost. Why the hell would she even want to come back? Half the clans want her dead, including you, and the other half are terrified to death of her”.

Indra’s nervous now. It isn’t often that Lexa gets this angry. The last time that Lexa had that same bloodthirsty look in her eyes she had sent 300 men to kill Clarke and her people. And just look how that worked out. Not a single survivor. If she wasn’t careful, Lexa might do something she’d regret. She was a great commander, she really was. Except she didn’t always consider the consequences of her actions. With everything that had transpired in the past month or so, Indra wasn’t surprised to hear that people were beginning to question Lexa’s leadership. She was worried, yes. But not surprised. 

“And what do you think Lexa?” Indra gently asks, trying to gauge whether or not the commander is about to go on a killing spree. If so, Indra would have to sharpen her sword again. She had been hoping to put it off until at least tomorrow. “Do you really believe that she doesn’t want you dead? You know that she holds you responsible for what happened to Costia. After everything that happened between the two of you, it’s a miracle you’re still alive”. 

Sighing, Lexa drops the knife to the floor. Her gaze follows it. Looking at the knife Robin had given her all those years ago, a lone tear escapes and runs down the length of her face. Cursing herself for her own sentimentality, she brushes it away. She had promised herself that she would stop caring. Time and time again Lexa had broken that promise. And each time it hurt, and all pain from her past came rushing back to her. Yet she kept on doing it because after all, ‘love was weakness’. Her weakness. Eventually, she raises her head to meet Indra’s unyielding eyes. “Believe me, I know”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback would be greatly appreciated. Hope you're enjoying this so far.


	2. Overprotective Symbiosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A knife?” Lexa queries, “What would I need this for?”
> 
> “For stabbing people, obviously”, Costia replies, her voice laced heavily with sarcasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Flashback scene: Lexa's not yet Commander, Robin hasn't left camp; Costia is still alive*

The rain is thundering down around the three of them. They’re quite dry though, seated beneath the ancient oak tree. Although Lexa, Robin and Costia are enveloped by the forest’s canopy, every now and again the wind will gust, sending a spray of water towards them. Shivering, Costia snuggles up closer to Robin’s side in a futile attempt to stay warm. Rolling her eyes, Robin allows this; the younger girl was always cold. Not that she would ever mention it though. Costia didn’t like people feeling sorry for her. She had experienced enough pity from people in her short life already. 

Lexa’s looking at the two of them, a slight smirk playing at her lips. Noticing it, Robin glares at her. Her eyebrow raises, as if challenging Lexa to say something about it. And, as always, Lexa is unable to stop the words from spilling out of her mouth.  
“And here I was thinking you weren’t the caring type, Robin”.

Robin’s eyes narrowed. Her jaw tightened as she bit her tongue to refrain from arguing with Lexa. Many things were acceptable from her friend, but not this. Her relationship with Costia was off limits. No jokes, no comments and definitely no judgement. Lexa knew this. She had agreed that family matters should be private. However, every now and again she would remark about how close the two sisters were. It was annoying at times, but Robin put up with it. Only because it was Lexa though; anyone else would be hit so hard they’d be walking funny for weeks.

Costia isn’t all too thrilled about it either. Glaring up at Lexa as if she had just murdered her favourite horse, she opens her mouth to speak her mind. Seeing this, Robin coughs loudly and starts stroking her hair, calming Costia down instantly. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, when the only two people she could put up with had a fight. It was more the fact that she had heard it all before. Too many times. People were always talking about the near symbiotic relationship she had with her younger sister. Which meant, of course, that Costia was always bristling up and defending the bond they shared. Regardless of who had said it. Which in turn, had caused its own set of problems.

Knowing that she had just narrowly avoided a lecture about what was and wasn’t her business, Lexa nodded a silent thank you to Robin. She too had heard Costia ranting about the subject too many times to count. Probably due to the fact that she spent most of her free time with the two sisters. Robin was older than both her and Costia by a few years, but the two of them had met first. They were both the seconds of two admired warriors, Anya and Indra. Every now and again they had sparred. Robin would always win of course. She was by far the superior fighter. A fact that Indra took pride in; and never forgot to remind Anya of afterwards. 

Eventually they started spending time together, outside of training. They had always enjoyed each other’s company; just spending time with Robin made Lexa’s whole day seem brighter. It was almost as if they it had always destined to be best friends. They had that instant connection. Two pieces of the same puzzle, fitting together in perfect harmony. Lexa confided in her about her worries of becoming Commander. In turn, Robin eventually introduced her to the most important – and the only – person in her life; Costia. 

 

The rain was slowly letting up now. They would have to start heading back soon. The sun was beginning to set; and the elders already disapproved of how Lexa spent her days enough as it was. “No need to further antagonise them”, Robin reasoned. Honestly, Lexa didn’t see what the big deal was. Her friends were her choice and she didn’t quite understand how no one else could see the good in them. But still, she agreed with Robin. She always did, after all. 

Rising to stand, the three of them began brushing the loose dirt and leaves from their clothes. Despite her longer limbs, Robin finished first. Whilst waiting for the others to finish she reached into the crook of a nearby tree, retrieving the small item she and Costia had placed there earlier that same morning. A knife.

With a small grin forming on her face she held it out to Lexa. Lexa takes the small weapon gingerly, holding it as if it was made of glass. A very dangerous, sharp piece of glass that could actually hurt someone quite seriously she realises, as she examines the small blade closely. 

“A knife?” Lexa queries, “What would I need this for?”

“For stabbing people, obviously”, Costia replies, her voice laced heavily with sarcasm. 

Robin laughs briefly at that, before responding herself, “It’s to help keep you safe, Lexa. You never know when someone might try to kill you”.

Rolling her eyes Lexa responds, “Yeah, but I don’t need a knife to be safe. You’re going to be there, threatening to kill anyone who so much as looks at me sideways”. 

“I won’t always be there to save you Lexa”.

“Why not? Where are you going to be then?” Lexa asked, worried now.

“I dunno. Somewhere else I guess. Or maybe”, she pauses, “maybe I’ll be … busy. I’ll probably be busy doing something else”. 

 

For some reason Robin didn’t tell her that the real reason for giving her the knife. The truth was that she wanted Lexa to have something to remember her by. They had never talked about it, but it was in all likelihood that Lexa would outlive her. It was the simple, brutal truth. Lexa was going to be the Commander, while Robin could only ever be a warrior. It didn’t matter to either of them at the end of the day, but the fact remained. With all her bodyguards watching over her, Lexa would always be protected. Always. 

Lexa read between the lines. She had always feared this. Losing people, even the thought of it petrified her. Her fears that she wouldn’t be a good leader when it came her time, were growing stronger every day. She knew, in her heart that she one day might get Robin killed. Sending her into a battle that she couldn’t possibly win. That was the reoccurring nightmare that had plagued her for months now. She didn’t know what she would do if she lost her best friend. And she could practically imagine the rage that Costia would have towards her, for getting her only remaining family member killed. That’s what woke her up each time, the murderous look in Costia’s eyes; just staring into her soul.


	3. Always Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only for today though. Tomorrow was a whole different story.  
> That is if she makes it until tomorrow. Someone’s standing over her motionless body.

The flimsy tree branches are whipping at her as she rushes through the densely packed shrubbery. There’s at least three of them this time. Chasing her. Another arrow shoots past her, burying itself in the tree. This time two inches from where she’d been moments before. “Dammit”, Robin mutters to herself. “They should’ve given up by now”.

Ducking under a particularly low thick branch, she almost stumbles from exhaustion. They’ve been after her for hours now. Surely they must be tiring by now too. They weren’t Reapers after all. Or maybe they were. They certainly smelt bad enough.

They were gaining on her. She didn’t dare look back for fear that she would trip and fall, but she could tell. She could hear them. Their laboured breaths, the crunch of the dry undergrowth beneath their feet and swishing of their blades as they hacked their way towards her. Why today? Today of all days, they had found her. The one day she didn’t have any weapons on her. The one day she had promised herself that she would never harm a living soul. The anniversary of Costia’s death.

The next arrow doesn’t miss.

It pierces her flesh just below her right shoulder. The arrowhead went straight through, but the shaft is still inside her. The force of it sends her tumbling to the ground. Luckily she was running downhill. Is it though? She can’t stop her momentum, and the slope is becoming steeper. Her entire body is being thrashed as she is practically freefalling down this hill. Eventually it levels out and she rolls to a halt. Groaning, Robin pulls herself into a sitting position.

Everything hurts. There’s cuts and bruises covering her entire body. Her clothes were ripped and torn so badly, they would be useless; except maybe as bandages. On the bright side though, Robin’s rapid downward descent had broken the arrows shaft. Gritting her teeth, she pulled it out as quickly as possible.  

Not one of her better ideas. It seems the arrow had been staunching the blood flow. Now, with the arrow gone, her wound had a steady stream of blood pouring out of it. She tries to place pressure on it, but she doesn’t have the strength. Her hand slips away as her head starts spinning and her vision becomes blurred. The pain isn’t so bad anymore.

Robin’s lying on her back now. It’s become so quiet that all she can hear is her own shallow breaths. It’s a struggle to keep her eyes open. It really is. She can feel them drooping and right now she wants nothing more than to drift off to sleep. But she knows she can’t do that. She needs to keep moving. To keep running. Never stopping. Because that’s when it hurts the most, when she’s standing still. Running helps her forget; if only temporarily.

She’d all but forgotten about the men chasing her. It didn’t really matter to her anymore. Robin had stopped caring whether she lived or died a while ago now. There was still one thing left for her to do though, before the end. That’s what had kept her going, the knowledge that she had a purpose. A mission to complete.

She’s going to kill the Ice Queen. And anyone else who played a role in Costia’s brutal execution. Lexa and her damn politics could go to hell. She wasn’t going to sit around waiting for her former friend to come to her senses and annihilate Queen Nia and the entirety of her ‘Ice Nation’. Robin was going to bring it all crumbling down herself.

Or at least she would, if she could just survive this stupid arrow wound. At least the pain’s returning. That must be a good sign. Robin allows herself a small grin. Just for today, she’ll let herself be happy she’s alive. Only for today though. Tomorrow was a whole different story.

That is if she makes it until tomorrow. Someone’s standing over her motionless body. The sun is blinding her, all Robin can make out is a silhouette of a muscled girl with long wavy hair. Attempting to move herself away from the imposing figure, the pain radiates through her entire body, causing her to let out a pained cry.

The girl drops to her knees beside Robin and forces her to stop moving. “Don’t move”, she warns tersely. The stranger places pressure on her wound and Robin stares at her in shock. Who the hell is she? Now that’s she’s kneeling right above her, her features are becoming clearer. Blue eyes definitely. That hair though, it’s filthy; covered in at least a week’s worth of dirt, dust and who knows what else. It could be blonde; maybe.

Robin’s eyes start to close again. She doesn’t want to drift off; not when this unfamiliar person is beside her. But she can’t help it. She’s so very tired and she needs to rest. ‘Just for five minutes’ she promises herself. ‘Then I’ll wake up. Need to rest’. The words sound very convincing in her head.  

Apparently, the girl above her didn’t think it was a good idea. She didn’t exactly voice her opinion, but getting slapped in the face was a good indicator that staying awake was probably in her best interests. Still, did the complete stranger have to hit her that hard? So, she stares her down. The person who’s trying to save her life is now on the receiving end of a rather intimidating glare.

She barely notices it. Either that or she just doesn’t care. “Sorry, thought we were losing you”, she explains, trying not to let her worry slip into her voice.

Robin raises an eyebrow at that, “So? Why do you care?”

“Too many people are dead already. I’m not going to sit by and let someone else die. Not when I can save you”.

Robin’s slipping into unconsciousness again. She almost doesn’t catch the girl’s last words.

“My name’s Clarke. What’s yours?”


	4. The Facade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hurt is clearly evident in Indra’s eyes. She clenches her jaw, determined not to show her emotions.

No-one would ever accuse Indra of being disloyal. Devious, yes. But never disloyal. So when Lexa explicitly ordered her to stop sending her men after Robin, she complied. Indra wasn’t out of options yet though. There was still one person she could ask the impossible of. Indra has always excelled at manipulating people. Even so, convincing Octavia to help her is going to be difficult.

Octavia spots Indra, lurking near the trees that are near the entrance to Arkadia. She blinks, confused; not quite believing what she’s seeing. Shaking her head slightly, she tells Raven that she’s going to go gather firewood. Raven grunts in her general direction; too occupied - by trying to fix the generator that had kept making spluttering noises ever since last night – to notice that change in Octavia’s tone.     

“Indra?” Octavia asks once within talking distance. Not any closer though. She’s not an idiot. There’s a very real danger that Indra might try to kill her.

“Octavia”, Indra begins, biting her lip worriedly. She’s not usually one to beat around the bush. But everything – all her plans – is hinging on this moment. So she hesitates, trying to find the right words.

Octavia’s in a hurry though. She didn’t like leaving Raven alone. It wasn’t that Raven was helpless or anything like that. Octavia had noticed how withdrawn she had become since Clarke left. So she started spending more time with Raven in an attempt to cheer her up. It was going ok, so far. Kind of. Well, at least Raven had stopped calling her Little-O.    

“What do you want Indra?”

“I need your help, Octavia”. Indra’s voice sounds desperate, pleading even.

Octavia does a double take. She wasn’t expecting that. She never thought that Indra, of all people, would be coming to her for help.

“Lexa’s in danger”, Indra continues.

Octavia snorts, “Yeah. No. Not helping. Lexa tried to have me killed remember. Her safety is not exactly a top of priority for me”.

“Well it should be, Octavia. What do you think will happen if she’s killed? Someone else will become the Commander. They might not be as … fond, of your people as Lexa is”.

“Oh, yeah sure. Lexa’s real fond of us. I mean it’s not like she abandoned us when we needed her help or anything. Wait, no. My bad. That’s exactly what she did. Lexa can go straight to hell for what she’s done. I really couldn’t care less”.

Indra grabs Octavia’s arm, holding it in a vice-like grip. “Octavia, if she dies; I can’t protect you anymore”.

Octavia jerks away from her, “I don’t need your protection. You’re not my mother, so stop acting like it”.

The hurt is clearly evident in Indra’s eyes. She clenches her jaw, determined not to show her emotions. But Octavia sees right through the facade. Raven’s been teaching her how to read people’s body language. It’s one of the few things she picked up on easily. Not at all like the time she tried helping Raven fuse the electrical wiring for the entire camp. They’d been in a blackout for days after that particular incident.

“Fine”, Octavia relents, “What do you need me to do?”

       


	5. Spine Tingling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Managing to get a grip on herself, she squares her shoulders and replies, “I won’t break. I’m not so fragile anymore”.

“You’re still not going to tell me your name?” Clarke asks, feeling annoyed and a tad bit curious. “Even after I saved your life”.

It’s been three days now since she came across Robin bleeding out at the bottom of the mountain. And finally it seems like this girl isn’t going drop dead on her. ‘Which is great’, Clarke thinks to herself. She doesn’t think she can handle another death. Even a strangers. Not now. Maybe not ever. If Clarke loses just one more person she cares about she might just go over the edge. And she isn’t sure that she would be able to pull herself back up. Towards the person she used to be.

“No, it’s better for the both of us if you don’t know”, Robin answers, ominously.

“How so?”

“Well, in the event that certain people find you; they won’t be able to torture information about me out of you. Because you won’t have known me. We never met. Remember that, Clarke”.

Clarke spine tingles. What the hell has she gotten herself mixed up in this time? Of course she would save someone, who by the sounds of it is on the run from just about everyone. Her eyes widen as she tries not to freak out. Clarke’s already thinking of different scenarios where she can get as far away from this person, without seeming rude – or terrified. Managing to get a grip on herself, she squares her shoulders and replies, “I won’t break. I’m not so fragile anymore”.

Robin smiles at that. Clarke reminds her of Costia is so many ways. The stubbornness, the determination, the need to be doing something – keeping occupied. And her need to have the last word too. Which is why she’s feeling itchy, testy even. She doesn’t want to stay here and get Clarke killed. Robin already has enough deaths weighing on her conscious. She really doesn’t feel the need to add to the list of people who are dead because of her actions.

 

Clarke continues, “No, come on. Tell me who you are. I feel like I know you from somewhere. Seriously, aren’t you the least bit curious who I am? What my story is?”

Robin sadly smiles, chuckling softly. “I already know your story Clarke. It’s written all over your face”.

Clarke frowns at that. “Is not”, she argues.

“Alright then”, Robin replies. “Tell me if this sounds familiar. You lost someone; a parental figure perhaps, when you were younger. It impacted on you greatly. You changed, and ever since you feel the need to protect others. Years later you experienced a sudden, unexpected shift in your circumstances. And that’s how you found yourself here”.

She pauses, taking a breath, then continues, “You believed in someone. Trusted them to do the right thing. But when the time came, they turned their back on you. Leaving you alone to fight your demons. Which caused you to do something. Something terrible. You didn’t save me because you feel guilty Clarke. You saved me because you wanted to prove that you still could. Save someone”. Robin stares at Clarke, knowing she hit the nail on the head.

 

 

Clarke’s quiet for a moment. Eventually she softly whispers, “How could you possibly know that?”

“It’s the look in your eyes; I recognise it. It was mine once. We have the same story Clarke. I’m just a few chapters ahead”.

 

They're sitting there in silence now. Not an uncomfortable one though. Just silence, listening to the sounds of the crickets, the wind blowing and the drizzling of the light rain trying to extinguish the flickering flame at their feet. Robin’s looking at Clarke, trying to decide whether or not she should say anything. Eventually she tells her.

 

 

“My name's Robin”.

“Oh. Like the bird?” Clarke asks, trying to inject some enthusiasm back into her dejected voice.

“No, like my grandmother”, Robin replies, ever so sassily.

Clarke smiles at that. It’s the first real smile she’s had in over a month.  


	6. Full Moon Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback Scene
> 
>  
> 
> Lexa scowls at her, “Lucky shot”.

“Argh”, Lexa cries, slamming her head against the solid wooden table. She repeats the action again and again, until she hears someone chuckling nearby. Slowly, with her cheeks reddening, she glances up. It’s Robin. Lexa visibly relaxes; unconcerned about what her best friend will think. Lexa’s witnessed just about every embarrassing moment that either Robin or Costia had ever had. Lexa whacking her head against the table in frustration doesn’t even come close to the time Robin had given Costia a handful of Jobi nuts;  leaving her to talk to a tree for the better part of the night.

“Careful Lexa. You’ll damage the table with that thick head of yours”, Robin tells her teasingly.

“That’s _Commander_ Lexa to you”, Lexa responds with a grin.

“Oh, I see how it is. Only a week into it and you’ve already let the power go to your head”. Robin does an exaggerated sigh. Trying to make it seem like she’s serious. It’s not fooling Lexa in the slightest. She can always tell whether Robin’s joking or not.

 

“So, I heard you’ve dismissed another one of your bodyguards. Or did he quit? According to some people you’re quite difficult to get along with. Funny, I never met that side of you”, Robin tells her; with a smile spreading across her face. “Or was I the exception to the rule?”

Lexa glares at her. “Don’t you have somewhere to be Robin? I thought you were on patrol today”.

Robin’s still grinning. “No, I’m exactly where I need to be”.

Lexa frowns at that. Not quite understanding yet.

Robin continues, “I’m your new bodyguard”.

 

Lexa’s entire face brightens as this huge smile erupts over her face. Jumping up, she grabs the bow and a quiver of arrows from the nearby bench; and throws the bow at Robin, who catches it effortlessly. “Let’s go hunting then”.

 

 

Lexa sets her sights on this young, two-headed monstrosity of a deer. It’s ambling around, chewing grass, not a care in the world. Not concerned by the two girls tracking it’s movements in the slightest. Lexa lifts the bow and nocks the arrow. Pulling it back, she anchors it on her chin. Finally, she releases the arrow and it flies forwards. Completely missing the animal.

“Hmmm, right. I’m going to do you a favour Lexa, and not tell Anya how sloppy your form is”, Robin tells her, laughing as she does so. “That shot would really put her to shame. I thought she taught you better than that”.

“You think you can do better?” Lexa asks, on the defensive now, passing her the weapon.

“I know I could”, Robin replies. In one swift move she raises the bow, nocks an arrow, pulls on the drawstring and releases. The deer goes down without another word.

Lexa scowls at her, “Lucky shot”.

“Keep telling yourself that. Whatever helps you sleep at night”.

Lexa punches her in the arm. Hard. Robin lightly shoves her back, not at all concerned. Then her face freezes over. She can see it. Watching them. While they were hunting the deer, something was hunting them. Keeping her eyes locked on it, and her voice low she orders Lexa to get behind her.

Lexa doesn’t move. She can’t see anything yet. Except for Robin, standing ever so still. Like a frightened animal does before instincts kick in. To flee or fight. Lexa’s never seen Robin run from anything. She hears a low growl from behind her. Her blood runs cold. Wolves.

It’s quiet for a moment. Then they both pounce, going for Lexa. Robin and the wolf. Robin gets there first, shoving her roughly out of harm’s way. But the wolf’s all over her now. Mauling her. Clawing at her arms and torso, trying to wrestle itself closer to bite at her neck. She has it in a headlock at the moment. It’s squirming, desperate to release itself. Raking its claws down, drawing blood.

Lexa watches in horror. There is so much blood. Just pouring out of Robin. She can’t move, she’s rooted to the spot. Frozen. Terrified. Not for herself, for Robin.

Finally she reacts, drawing the knife that Robin had given to her a few years ago now. Lexa throws without hesitation. The knife buries itself into the wolf’s chest. It whimpers slightly, crawling off Robin and staggers away to die. Lexa follows, retrieving the knife and slitting its throat for good measure. Also to stop that god-awful sound it was making. There’s nothing quite like it. That noise, when a creature knows they’re about to die. It’s pitiful.

Lexa rushes over to Robin, who’s just barely conscious now.

“Well, you certainly took your time”, Robin's pained voice echoed through the air. Before succumbing to the allure of the darkness.

Lexa grabs Robin and hoists her over her shoulder in a fireman’s carry. She walks them back towards the camp, calling out for help as she does so. People arrive. Removing Robin from her trembling body and taking her to the Healer.

She watches them go, knowing that she can’t follow. Instead Lexa heads to the ancient oak tree. Trying to soak in the memories, in case Robin doesn’t make it. Before the memories turn sour. By the time she reaches the tree, Lexa’s stopped hyperventilating. ‘Robin’s going to be fine’, she thinks. ‘She had to be’.

 

 

The next thing she sees is a furious Costia storming towards her; anger practically radiating off of her body.

 

 

 

“What the hell Lexa?” Costia snarls at her. “You almost got her killed!” She forcefully grabs Lexa by her collar and shoves her up against the tree. Don’t you dare put her in that position again! Don’t make her choose between saving you and saving herself. Because we both know it’ll always be you”.

Lexa shoves Costia away from her, making her stumble slightly as Costia’s foot catches on the tree root. “You think I wanted this? You think I asked for her to be my bodyguard? I had no say in the matter. If I could, I’d have her as far away from me as possible. Because you’re right. People are always going to be trying to kill me; and Robin will always put herself between me and danger. And I’m sorry, Costia. I really am. But you’re not the only one who’s worried about her. So stop acting like it!”

They’re both breathing heavily now. Trying to reign in their anger, worry and something else too.

Costia calms down first. Looking sympathetically at Lexa, she softly says, “Just don’t do it again. Ok?”

Lexa’s still a bit fired up. “She won’t be protecting me for a while anyway. She needs time to recover first. I’ll see if I can get her reassigned”, she responds bitterly. Lexa goes to storm off, roughly brushing past Costia.

Costia catches her arm. “Lexa, don’t put yourself in danger again. Ever”.

Frowning, Lexa shrugs her off, growling at her, “What do you care?”

Shrugging, Costia retorts, “I don’t. But Robin would never forgive me if I allowed you to get yourself killed. She’d go to hell and back to make sure you were safe. So don’t ok. Don’t put her through that. Just don’t die alright. Think you can manage that?”

“Fine”, Lexa says, her irritation rising to a whole new level.

“Good”, Costia turns, planning to leave before Lexa can say or do anything else. But something stops her.

She turns back to Lexa and grabs her by the neck, bringing her in closer and softly kisses her on the lips.

Costia breaks it off moments later and stares into Lexa’s shocked, green eyes. “I’d be upset too. If you died”. And with that she leaves. Lexa watches her go, speechless.

She definitely isn’t irritated anymore.   

  

 

 

Robin awakens later that night. Lying on the now familiar bed in the healer’s hut. She’s always getting injured after all. Costia and Lexa are by her bedside. They’ve fallen asleep against each other. Holding each other’s hands, Robin notes. Smiling now, she thinks to herself, ‘It’s about damn time’.


	7. Three Days Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her memories. Of how much she actually did care.

There’s a loud crack. A large, rotted tree branch crashes to the ground. Right next to Clarke, waking her. Startled, she jumps up like a frightened rabbit. Shoulders tense, ears perking up; ready to run. Noticing that her assailant was a lifeless piece of timber, she blushes, feeling incredibly embarrassed. She hopes Robin didn’t see that. Frowning, she observes her surroundings. Robin’s no-where to be seen. Clarke heads over to where the other girl had fallen asleep last night. A single word is there. Scrawled in the dirt. 

'Sorry’

Clarke sighs. She knows she shouldn’t care so much about someone that she just met. But there had been something about her. Something that had made Clarke trust her immediately. A familiar feeling; one she had only felt towards a few people in her life. It had been a while ago now. Before Earth; on the Ark. With her family. When she had last felt safe. Protected.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

Robin keeps walking, not looking back. She knows if she does she’ll won’t be able to leave Clarke all alone. Unprotected. From whatever it was she was hiding from. Whoever, it was.

Regardless, Robin keeps walking towards her destination. She had been headed there a few days ago. Then Indra’s men had stumbled upon her. Interrupting her. Screwing up her plans once again. Nothing is going to stop her this time though. She’s going to go to that damn oak tree – where all of this had started - and talk to her sister’s spirit.  

Robin makes a slight detour on the way. Home. Well, it isn’t exactly a ‘home’, per say. It’s a cave, which leads into a waterfall with clear, stunning views in all directions. The type that were used on the calendars of old. For something called ‘Tourism’. A strange concept, Robin had thought. Why would you go somewhere, just to see something, when there were just as many beautiful things to see in your own special corner of the Earth? If only you knew how to look.

Arriving, she quickly sheds her shredded clothes, and steps into the water spray that’s coming off from the waterfall. The dirt, grime and congealed blood is washed away. ‘If only washing away other things were this simple’, Robin thinks. Her guilt, her anger, her vendetta – which she knows will probably be the death of her. Her memories. Of how much she actually did care.

No-one had ever thought she had had feelings. Labelled as a sociopath for most of her life. ‘Not capable of real emotion’, people had said. Only a few had ever bothered to get to know her. Well enough to know that she did care. She just didn’t express it as well as others might like. Or want her to. Her friends had understood her though. “Well, the people who used to be my friends”, Robin mutters to herself. She lists them off now. Ticking them off on her fingers as she does so.

“Costia, Lexa, Lincoln, Anya & … Indra”.

Robin’s voice falters at that last name. She had never wanted to hurt Indra, when she had left. It hadn’t been her intention. She had just needed to leave. To escape. Away from all the sympathy, the judgement and worst of all; her inability to do anything about it. Robin hadn’t stopped to think about how Indra would’ve felt. Looking back now, it was stupid to have left without saying farewell.

After all, Indra had lost Costia too. And then Robin, three days later.  


	8. Just One Yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback
> 
> Way, way, way back.

Indra’s rubbing at her eyes. It’s the middle of the night. And something just woke her up. Or someone actually. Growling, she hates having her sleep interrupted after all, she walks over to the slight figure who had dared disturb her rest. Yawning, she stumbles into the entrance. She recognises who it is. At least she thinks she does. Indra’s not fully awake yet. Is her best friends’ three year old daughter really standing at her door?

Holding something. A small bundle. Indra squints, a newborn baby by the looks of it. Confused, she thinks to herself, “What, did Diana give birth already?”.

Her voice slightly slurred, she asks, “Robin, what are you doing here? Where’s your Mum, sweetie?”

Robin has tears streaming down her face. She’s looking up at Indra, the only person who she had thought to go to. “She won’t wake up”.

Indra’s awake now. She pulls Robin in close to her, giving her a fierce hug. Biting back her own tears she tells her, “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be fine”.

 

And for that single, shining moment; Robin believes her.

 


	9. Talking Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It doesn’t seem quite right to her. Talking to a damn tree.

 

Robin’s approaching the wizened, old tree now. Cautiously, as if it might suddenly move towards her and attack. But it remains still. Static. Even now just looking at it, she feels at peace, but at the same time, severely depressed. How could she not be? Just about every memory worth remembering, had happened here. With the two people who had meant the most to her. Costia and Lexa. One dead, and one who wanted her dead – at least that’s what Robin thinks.

She kneels at the base of it, hooking her feet around the roots that are scattered at the base of the oak tree. Robin’s trying to keep it together, but she can’t. The tears roll down her face. Still she remains silent. Wiping the salty liquid off her cheeks before they can jump to the ground, she eventually speaks.

“I’m sorry”. Robin pauses. It doesn’t seem quite right to her. Talking to a damn tree. She’s never really believed in spirituality in the way that most of the other Grounders did. Robin’s always thought it they were just stories. Stories that people told themselves, to make themselves feel better. She had never bought into the whole destiny, fate, and the ‘what will happen, will happen, because it was always meant to happen’ belief system. That was Lexa’s thing; not hers. In her experience; sometimes bad things just happen; and there isn’t a single thing you can do to change that.

Now though. Kneeling here, at the base of their favourite tree; she can feel it. The warmth. Whether or not it’s due to the heavy glare of the sun or something slightly more supernatural; she doesn’t know. Or care. It feels good, alright. Almost as if she was meant to be there. At this exact time.  

Robin takes a shaky breath and continues, “I should’ve been there to save you. You … I”, she struggling for words. She’s never been particularly good at talking to people – with the exception of her friends. The people she had felt comfortable around.

Not Costia though. She had always been a social butterfly. Talking to everyone; the life and soul of the party. Regardless of whether or not there was an actual party. Robin had needed her sister as much as Costia had needed her. Who else would explain what she had meant? Sometimes, Costia would start explaining her fragmented statements before she had even finished them. Because she always knew what Robin had meant. Always.  

“Sorry I didn’t come visit you sooner”, she continues. “Been a bit busy lately. A few people tried to kill me. Don’t worry, nothing too serious”, Robin’s lying through her teeth now. There has been quite a few close calls. Including that latest one, when Clarke saved her. ‘But Costia didn’t need to know that’, Robin thinks to herself. ‘She worries about me too much as it is'. Mentally she corrects herself, ‘Worried’.

“Trust me to pick a fight with a wolf though. Did Lexa ever tell you about that?” Robin asks, reminiscing. “Totally saved her life. She’ll probably deny it, but I did. Mind you, if I was her, I probably wouldn’t have told you that story either”. She’s relaxed now. Talking to her sister. Even if her sister is a tree at the moment. The words are smoothly spilling out of her mouth. Like they always were when she was with alone with Costia.

“And then”, she pauses, before continuing, “You left”.

“And you didn’t come back”. 

The tears were once again streaming down her face. Robin doesn’t even bother trying to conceal them anymore. She’d never been able to stop them before. Not when it involved Costia.

Her voice is broken now. Somehow, Robin manages to hoarsely whisper, “You were supposed to come back”.

 

The tree - unsurprisingly - remains silent.


	10. One Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends can fade; family is eternal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, wow. I really had too much fun with this chapter. Which is probably why it's longer than most.  
> Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.  
>  
> 
> Octavia and Robin meet.  
> Violence ensues.

 

She certainly hadn’t expected this.

 

Indra had warned Octavia that Robin was dangerous. ‘She forgot to mention the girl was crazy’, Octavia thought.

It’s been four days now, since Indra recruited her. And she’s finally spotted Robin. Right where her mentor had said this dangerous psychopath would be. At a tree of all places. Which would be normal, she supposes. Even serial killers can like nature. However, Robin’s been having a conversation with this humungous, wrinkled oak tree for at least five minutes now. Octavia can’t quite hear what she’s saying; she’s hidden at least 15 feet away, in the dense shrubbery. She doesn’t need to hear it though. Octavia had already agreed to do this for Indra. Unlike some people, Octavia always kept her promises.

Still though, she’s not too happy about being sent to kill a mental patient. Plus she had left four days ago now. Which meant that help was on the way. She had convinced Raven to send her back-up if she hadn’t returned in three days. Raven would have told Bellamy and Lincoln where she was going by now. Abby too probably. Scowling now, Octavia sighs, she’s not looking forward to going back to Arkadia. She doesn’t like people being angry with her. Which is what Abby’s going to be; furious.

 

Octavia moves closer; trying to understand, confusion still weighing in her eyes. Had Indra been messing with her? She creeps forward, closer to Robin; moving stealthily. It’s a shrivelled, old oak tree. Stretching high into the forest canopy.

‘Yes, it’s a beautiful tree’, Octavia thinks. ‘But who actually gets teary-eyed looking at nature these days?’

She takes another step forward. A twig snaps loudly beneath her foot. Octavia visibly winces.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

Robin stiffens at the noise. She had thought she had been sensing someone else’s presence – Costia’s. But ghosts are silent, aren’t they? And they definitely don’t have feet. Well, not feet that can interact with this level of existence anymore. Without turning around to face whoever’s there, she clears her throat and tells them.

“One chance”.

“Sorry, what?” a frightened voice – pretending to be brave – replies.

“I’m giving you one chance”. Standing up now to face her attacker, Robin continues, “To leave. You don’t have to die here today. I’ll forget I ever saw you. If you go now”.

Robin’s serious. It’s unusual, but it’s true. She will fight this girl – this stranger – if she had too. Normally, she wouldn’t give anyone any form of warning. But here, today; she’s feeling merciful. Not that it matters. Robin can tell that this is one determined girl. She’s holding this impressive sword in her grip. A familiar grip she notices. One she used. Robin knows who this is now. Not her name; but her story. This must be Indra’s latest second.

“Well”, Robin drawls, “This ought to be interesting”.

 Octavia sneers, “What do you mean? Interesting. I’m here to kill you. You lunatic”.

Robin burst out laughing at this. She can’t stop it. It’s literally too funny. This little girl obviously has no idea what she is dealing with. Who she is dealing with. Trust Indra to send a rookie after her.

 

Octavia face forms into another frown. This is really too strange for words. There’s this crazy girl in front of her. Laughing her head off when Octavia’s about to end her. ‘Seriously, who does that? Well, insane people I guess’, she thinks to herself.

 

Robin, manages to stop herself from giggling. It’s hard though. This angry girl has the most serious look on her face. It doesn’t really suit her, Robin decides. Looking so serious. She didn’t seem like the type – who took things seriously – that is. Robin manages to compose herself, eventually.

“My offer still stands”, Robin tells her. “You can leave. You don’t have to die here today”.

“You’re awfully confident for someone who is unarmed”, Octavia responds.

Robin smirks at that, “I’m never unarmed”. Which is true. Right now she had three concealed weapons on her, plus her bow & arrows. But they were leaned up against the tree. Out of reach. She wouldn’t make it there before Octavia made it to her.

But that wasn’t what she had meant. Robin’s quite skilled at hand to hand combat. In fact, for a better part of her childhood, Indra had taught her how to fight someone who had a weapon when you didn’t. Because in battle, anything could happen. Anything at all.

 

 

“Always be prepared for the worst case scenario”. Indra’s words came floating back to her now.

And Robin had always done so. Predicted, studied and wondered about every possible outcome each and every time. She was almost never surprised by anything. Robin had always been ready to face whatever came her way.

Except once. When Costia had died. She hadn’t seen that coming. Who could’ve though? Everyone had adored her. Robin – Lexa too – had never once considered that Costia might be in danger from others. Wild animals yes, that girl was always approaching them – trying to train them. Costia had been good at it too. Managing to train a few orphaned wolves to attack on command. But, even they couldn’t save her in the end.

‘No-one could’, Robin thought bitterly; trying desperately to convince herself that it’s true. It isn’t though. Robin could’ve saved her. If she hadn’t been recuperating from saving Lexa, that is. She doesn’t regret saving Lexa though. She never would. But, it still seems to her that she chose Lexa over Costia. And she feels so guilty for that. Choosing her friend over family. When family is all that is left and the end of the day.

Friends can fade; family is eternal.   

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

Octavia charges. Shaking her head slightly, Robin grins. Bad move. She ducks underneath Octavia’s swing at her chest height. As Octavia follows through, Robin grabs her sword – right – arm. Just at her wrist. Holding it tight, she twists the girls’ wrist anti-clockwise. Just about breaking it, but not quite.

Octavia lets out a sharp gasp of pain, dropping her sword on pure reflex. Robin, still holding her wrist, neatly kicks her legs out from underneath her. Octavia falls flat on her back, completely winded.

Leaning down now, Robin picks up Octavia’s own sword and holds it against her throat. She hasn’t even broken a sweat in this whole exchange. Unable to resist from making a comment she tells Octavia.

 “Not bad. Not particularly good either. But don’t feel too upset about that. It isn’t like you had a chance to begin with”.

Octavia is looking furious now. “Are you seriously critiquing the way I tried to kill you?" Her confusion is growing again. ‘Why hasn’t she killed me yet’, she thinks to herself.

 

Robin replies, “Just keep in mind, I did try to warn you”. Raising the girls own blade, she prepares to deliver the final blow.

 

 

“ROBIN, DON’T!”

 

 

Robin freezes at that voice. Instantly recognising it. How could she not. It used to be her favourite voice to listen too.

 

 

 

 

 

Lexa’s.


	11. Bad Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Robin are both staring at each other in a cold silence.

 

There’s silence in the air. It hangs over the three of them like a thick cloud of smoke. Octavia’s still there; pinned beneath the foot Robin had placed on her chest, just moments before. Her own sword is slightly pricking against her neck. A thin line of blood appears, slowly trailing downwards. She doesn’t dare move for fear that it’ll snap this girl – ‘Robin’, she thinks. That’s what Lexa had just called her, after all - out of her trance. Leaving her to return to what she was doing beforehand. Killing Octavia.

 

 Lexa and Robin are both staring at each other in a cold silence. Neither of them attempt to break it just yet. They both want to of course, yet at the same time; they don’t want to be the one who caves first. That would be admitting defeat. Admitting that after everything that had happened, that they still cared for each other. This was not likely to be happening anytime soon. There’s still a thick coating of bad blood between the two of them.

Telling someone that they cared about them was not a strong suit for either Robin or Lexa. As they say, actions speak louder than words. The two of them were more inclined to follow that path. Showing, rather than telling. It had always been that way. Always would be too. That was something that wasn’t going to change anytime in the foreseeable future.

                                                                                                                         

Eventually Lexa speaks. To Octavia, although she still has her eyes locked on Robin.

“Octavia, get out here. Now”, Lexa tells her; trying to remain calm and keep her voice steady.

Robin’s eyes flicker dangerously at Lexa. Gritting her teeth, she slightly twirls the sword still pressed to Octavia’s throat. Not quite drawing blood, but leaving behind a slight stinging sensation. Which brings tears welling to the forefront of Octavia’s eyes.

Octavia bites her lip; determined to not give either of them the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Lexa notices this, and takes a step closer towards the pair of them.

 

“Let her go, Robin”, Lexa says, finally addressing her personally.

“She did try kill me Lexa”, Robin coldly states. “You and I have both killed for less compelling reasons”.

“I know”, Lexa replies, still approaching the pair slowly. “And I think that it’s about time we stopped”.

Robin snorts at this. “That’s not going to happen, Lexa. People don’t actually change. They just present a more appealing view to the public”.

Lexa frowns at this. “That’s not true. I changed, remember?” She’s thinking back now. To what she had done after Costia had died. Or rather, what she hadn’t done.

Robin’s staring daggers at her now. “No, you didn’t. You were always cold. Empty. You’ve never cared about anyone. Not really. I just didn’t notice it. Not until after Costia died. She always saw the best in you Lexa. It rubbed off on me. That’s all”.

 

                                             

Lexa’s never seen Robin this angry. Not at her anyway. She’s worried now. Maybe Indra was right after all. That the old Robin was long gone. That she was now just a shadow of her former self. That her best friend was lost in her own hatred, anger and desire to spill blood. Her friend, the person she had idolised her whole life. That she had placed on a pedestal.

Lexa hadn’t wanted to believe it. So, she had ignored all the signs. The little hints that danger was brewing. Lexa had ignored them all. So that she could pretend; even if only for a little while; that not every aspect of her life had come crumbling down around her. She had ignored them. Ignored the warning signs that Robin had finally snapped. Reached her limit. Couldn’t handle it anymore. That losing everyone she had ever cared for was not something she could cope with.

And now. Now it might be too late. Too late for Lexa to save her friend. Save her from herself if need be. It doesn’t matter. If it’s too late, that is. Lexa’s going to try. Regardless of the consequences it might bring crashing down upon her.

“Let her go Robin. We both know you really don’t care that she tried to kill you. Just about everyone has at one point or another”.

Robin can’t help herself. A tiny smirk appears. It disappears again, within seconds. But Lexa saw it. She knows now. Her friend’s still in there. Somewhere. Buried under a mountain of grief, anger and violence maybe; but still in there. And Lexa’s going to drag her out. Kicking and screaming if she has to.

                                                                                         

Eventually, Robin releases Octavia. Removes her foot and pulls her roughly to her feet. Before Octavia can protest, Robin whispers something in her ear. A message. One that someone had told her a long time ago. Now, she repeats the last words her father had ever told her. A few days before he left for the front lines. Before his untimely death. Leaving her alone; to care for Costia.

“Don’t try to grow up too fast, kid. Live while you’re still young. Don’t turn into me. Ok? Don’t kill because you can. Find something worth fighting for. And when you do. Hold onto it tight. And never let it go”.  

Octavia nods once, slightly terrified by the sudden change in Robin’s demeanour. With a brief nod of thanks to Lexa, she backs away slowly. Eyes locked on the two girls, who have resumed glaring angrily at each other. Heading back to from whence she came. Arkadia.


	12. Unconditionally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some bonds just can’t be broken.

They’re running. The both of them. As fast as they can. Bellamy and Lincoln. They’re sprinting. Sprinting towards Octavia; towards where Raven had said she would have started searching for Robin. Both the boys are concerned for her, angry at her and disappointed in themselves for believing her. Believing her when she said that she was going to search for Clarke. Lying through her teeth; although, how else was Octavia going to get permission to leave from Abby?

 

Bellamy and Lincoln are moving so quickly that they don’t see Octavia. Headed back to Arkadia. Looking defeated, dejected and all too annoyed at herself. Not until they literally crash into her that is. Sending the three of them tumbling to the ground.

 

  
Bellamy’s face is pure joy. He’d been extremely worried about Octavia. He always was, but especially so after Lincoln told him who she was. Who Robin was. And what she had done. Bellamy shudders at the thought. He’d never been thought himself squeamish, but after hearing what happened, Bellamy had felt sick in his stomach. What Robin did crossed a line. The line of what was and wasn’t acceptable to do to other human beings. And it bothered him. It bothered him that Lincoln wasn’t so disgusted in his old friend. Mass murder was still a touchy subject to Bellamy, even now, a month after the battle of Mount Weather.

 

Octavia is less happy to see them. Well, less happy to see Lincoln. He’s not supposed to be here. Outside Arkadia. It wasn’t safe for him. Not since Lexa had placed a kill order on him. She’s relieved Bellamy's here though. Octavia’s always happy to see Bellamy. He’s her big brother, her closest friend and her only family. The one person that she would always love unconditionally. Not that she would ever tell Bellamy any of this. He would never stop teasing her about it. He is her big brother after all.

 

 

Lincoln’s expression though. Completely different from both of the Blake’s. It’s almost as if he’s feeling too many emotions and his face just doesn’t know which one to wear. So, it compromised. Going for relief, anger, worry, disgust and confusion all at the same time. Which is how Lincoln feels right now. Mainly anger though. Towards Octavia that is.

 

The three of them are all staring at each other in disbelief. No-one’s spoken yet. Lincoln does eventually, breathless as he does so. Seemingly unable to form complete sentences.  
“Octavia … how are you… why didn’t she ... you’re ok?” he manages, with a pained, disbelieving look in his eyes. He can’t believe she’s here. Alive. Which must mean he realises, with heart beating fast and his eyes widening, that means Octavia succeeded. Robin’s dead. His oldest friend, killed by his girlfriend because their mentor – Indra – ordered her too.

 

A darkness passes over Lincoln’s face. He can’t believe Octavia’s done this. ‘Or has she?’ he wonders. Glaring at her, he speaks. Asking the question that he half didn’t want to; afraid of the answer.  
“You didn’t kill Robin did you?”  
“Tell me you didn’t kill her Octavia”, Lincoln continues, unable to keep the worry from slipping into his voice. “Promise me she’s ok”.

 

Octavia can’t believe what’s happening. Lincoln is supposed to be on her side. He’s _her_ boyfriend after all. Octavia’s strangely possessive like that. She doesn’t know who Robin had been to him, obviously. Otherwise she’d understand. Some bonds just can’t be broken.

Bitterly, Octavia replies, “She’s fine. Almost killed me. Thanks for your concern though Lincoln. It’s really touching”.

 

 

Bellamy’s frowning at this. How dare some grounder attack and almost kill his baby sister. No-one’s allowed to hurt her but him. That’s his job. His role as her big brother. Right now he’s furious at Robin. For the line of dried blood he can see on Octavia’s neck. And for causing the look of anger, annoyance and hatred on his sister’s face.  
“How are you still alive then?” he asks. Not entirely sure he wants to hear the answer.

 

“Lexa showed up. Saved me”, Octavia answers shortly.  
She doesn’t understand why Lexa did that. All she knows that is that the Commander saved her life. Which means she owes her. Octavia frowns at that. She doesn’t like owing people. Makes her feel uncomfortable. She’s never liked the feeling it gives her. The obligation to even things out between the two people. Octavia doesn’t enjoy having to do favours for people. Especially not for Lexa. Because, if there’s one thing Octavia knows how to do; it’s to hold a grudge.

 

Lincoln’s eyes widen. “Lexa?” he asks. His fear is rising to a whole new level. “How many men did she have with her?”  
Octavia frowns, “None, she was alone”.

Lincoln’s face tightens. “Shit! You left the two of them alone together? They’re going to kill each other”.  
Lincoln’s off and running again now. Towards his old friend and the person who ordered the price on his head. That fact’s been pushed to the back of him mind. It doesn’t matter. Not when there’s a chance that Robin could get hurt. Again. Because of someone else he had cared about. Protected. Lexa. His former friend. 

 

 

Octavia watches him run off in disbelief. Towards danger and certain death.  
“What the hell is his problem?” she asks Bellamy.

 

 

Bellamy sighs before answering. “They were friends Octavia. He's known her his whole life. She was his closest friend once. And you just tried to kill her”.

 

Octavia’s staring at him now. Jaw dropped, eyebrows raised in disbelief. 'If Robin had been Lincoln’s friend, why had he never mentioned her?'

She goes voice her opinion, but Bellamy interrupts her before she can begin.

 

 

 

“She saved his life Octavia” he tells her. “Without her, the two of you would never have met”.


	13. Heartbreaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Flashback*
> 
> She truly was a shining light in a world full of darkness.

 

Its morning by the time Robin finally re-emerges from her rest after that wolf very nearly killed her. Yawning, she stretches. Bleary-eyed she glances around her. Looking for Costia. She’s not there though. Robin frowns slightly. She had wanted to talk to her sister. Reassure Costia that she was going to be fine. Robin didn’t like the fact the Costia worried about her so much but she understood why. Costia didn’t want to lose the only family she had ever known. With their mother dying during her childbirth; and her father – who she couldn’t remember – being killed in a pointless skirmish with the Ice Nation, Costia had always been terrified that Robin would die. Leaving her alone.

That was Robin’s biggest fear too. Not dying itself; but leaving Costia alone to fend for herself.

 

Noticing that Lexa was softly snoring next to her, Robin reminds herself of what she’d spotted last night; when she’d woken up for a few moments. ‘Well, she’s not alone anymore’, Robin thinks to herself; with this huge grin forming on her face.    

                      

“Oi, Lexa”, she calls, giving Lexa a shove with her foot as she does so.

Lexa jerks awake, whacking her head on the wooden bed-frame as she does so. With Robin laughing, she rubs the back of her head gingerly. Glaring at Robin now, as if the older girl had hit Lexa herself, she growls at Robin, “What is it? What do you want Robin?”  

 

“Where’s Costia? Thought she’d still be here. You know, after I saved your life and everything. Least she could do is come to check on me”, Robin answers. “By the way, I’m still waiting on your ‘thank you’ that you owe me after saving your scrawny, little self for the third time this month”.

 

“Third time this month?” Lexa echoes. She smiles as she says “I think maybe we should check you for a head injury Robin. You seem to be having vivid hallucinations. Delusions of grandeur”.

 

 

Robin scowls, “Shut up Lexa”.

Lexa smirks at that. She’s still proud of the fact that she’s the only one who knows how to get under Robin’s skin. Well apart from Costia that is – but that’s a given. They were sisters after all. Siblings grow up knowing exactly how to push each other’s buttons. How to be the most irritating with the least amount of effort.  

Lexa finally tells Robin what she wants to know. “Costia went to go see if that wolf had any pups”.

Robin rolls her eyes, “Hasn’t she rescued enough already? Doesn’t she know that beast just tried to kill me? And she wants to go adopt its puppies”.

Lexa smiles in agreement. “Of course she does. Oh, and I’ve already been lectured on how I should’ve found another way to save you without killing ‘such a beautiful and majestic creature’. Her words, not mine”.

They’re both grinning now. Talking about their mutual favourite person had always made them smile. Made everyone smile. Costia had that effect on people. She truly was a shining light in a world full of darkness.

 

“Speaking of”, Robin begins. Looking up at Lexa, who’s started roaming the room in search of food. Her voice goes cold, “What exactly are your intentions for my sister, Lexa?”

 

Lexa freezes, halfway through the act of loading a plate with something that she hopes is edible. The plate crashes to the floor. Cracking in several places. Spilling her breakfast everywhere. Robin’s trying very hard to suppress her laughter. She’d asked Lexa that question, in the hope that something like this would happen. Lexa always was getting flustered when people asked her about her personal life.

Lexa manages to compose herself, slightly. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you might mean by that, Robin. We’re just friends”. Even as the words slip past her lips she knows she isn’t fooling anyone. Not anymore and especially not Robin. Robin always knew. Knew everything about Lexa. Every single detail. Which sometimes, was just as annoying as it sounded.

 

Not now though. Not when Lexa finally notices the huge grin that is plastered on her best friends face. Confused she asks, “You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad Lexa? It’s about time the pair of you realised how epic your love story could be. Besides, you’ve loved her since the moment I first introduced the two of you”, Robin responds.

“Did not”, Lexa begins.

Robin stares at Lexa, her disbelief clear; etched upon her face.

“Did too”, Lexa whispers, correcting herself. She can practically feel her ears reddening from embarrassment. This tiny grin creeps onto her face without her knowledge. She’s smiling subconsciously.

 

Robin smiles at Lexa. It’s really quite endearing the way that Lexa tries to pretend that she doesn’t care. That she’s untouchable in that regard. Still Robin feels obliged to tell her best friend something. To warn her.

 

“Lexa”, she says, grabbing her attention. Lexa nods at her waiting for her to continue.

 

 

 

“Break her heart and I’ll break your neck”.

 

Lexa smile vanishes as she realises that Robin isn’t joking. She sends a terrified nod towards her.

Robin just smiles to herself. Even incapacitated, she’s still a force to be reckoned with.  

 

 


	14. Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A jagged, raw scar – running straight through her heart – which had never quite healed.

“Why are you here Lexa?” Robin asks, her voice chillingly distant; jaw clenched and her eyes tinted with anger. A deep, dark anger which had consumed her long ago. Eating away at her soul. Some things would haunt her for all eternity. Certain memories that would stay with Robin forever. Never forgotten. Or forgiven. Robin is still furious with Lexa. What she had done - what she had said - when Costia had died had left Robin with a lasting scar. A jagged, raw scar – running straight through her heart – which had never quite healed. Might not ever heal. 

 

Lexa’s own eyes are wet. She’s been blinking back the tears since she had spotted Robin hovering over Octavia; with her sword pressed to her neck. Tears of relief, guilt, sadness and joy. No-one had seen the girl for days and Lexa had feared that she had dropped dead. Continued into the next life. She'd been worried that Robin had finally succumbed to the multiple injuries that her battered and bruised body had sustained. Looking at her now, Lexa can now see that it’s taken a toll on Robin’s body. The constant fight for survival is killing her slowly. 

 

Robin’s entire right side is shivering ever so slightly. If Lexa hadn’t been watching her for signs of fatigue, it would have gone unnoticed. Squinting now, examining her, she peers at Robin’s right shoulder. There’s a faint trace of blood leaking out, over the fabric of her clothes. It’s not slowing to a halt either. The slight red stain is slowly spreading and soon the entire shirt sleeve will be stained with Robin’s blood. Robin notices, yet she doesn’t react. Not willing to admit that anything is wrong. She’s always been stubborn, but this was really kicking it up a notch. Refusing to rest when her wound has reopened and she’s losing blood. 

 

Robin’s perspiring a fair bit. She’s most likely torn the stitches that Clarke had painstakingly taken the effort to give her. Still Robin glares at Lexa. Glaring at her as if it was all she wanted to accomplish in life. Robin’s refusing to acknowledge that she’s feeling light-headed. That anything is wrong with her body at all. Robin knows she should sit down, but that would be a sign of weakness. She had been accused of being many things by a multitude of people, but weak was not one of them. ‘Never had been. Never would be’, Robin thought to herself.

 

Lexa still hasn’t answered her yet. Frowning now, and leaning slightly against a nearby tree to support herself, she growls at her, “What are you doing here Lexa?”

 

Lexa bites her lip, she’s nervous. Not quite sure what to say to her. “Robin”, she eventually whispers, barely audible.

Robin half-heartedly raises an eyebrow in anticipation. Waiting for Lexa to continue.

 

Lexa’s not quite sure how to continue. She doesn’t know where they stand anymore. But, Robin’s been gone for so long; so Lexa decides that she should just say it. Say what she had been thinking ever since the day Robin left.

“I’m sorry”.

 

Shaking her head now, Robin pushes herself away from the tree. Towards Lexa. She’s stumbling slightly as she heads towards her. The taller girl stops short of her though. She replies, “Don’t. Just don’t Lexa. I don't want your apologies. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care. Alright. Not about you, not about anyone. Not anymore. Took a leaf out of your book”.

Lexa entire body stills. She frowning now, in confusion. “Is that what you really think Robin? That I don’t care. That I never cared about anyone? You know me better than that”.

Robin’s silent for a moment. Then she softly says, “I thought I did”. Looking into Lexa’s eyes now, she continues, “I thought I knew you. But, then you did nothing”. She allows the words to hang in the air for a moment before continuing. “Costia died; and you did nothing at all”.

Lexa can no longer hold back the tears. There falling thick and fast now. Streaming down her face, racing to the edge and throwing themselves to the ground below. She opens her mouth to respond, to explain. To tell Robin exactly why she’d done what she’d done. But she can’t. The words become lodged in her throat, unable to escape.

Robin misreads her silence as indifference, and angrily hisses at Lexa, “My sister died, Lexa. And you ordered me to do nothing. Do you even remember what you told me?”

Of course Lexa remembers. To this date, it was still one of the stupidest thing she’d ever said. To anyone, ever.

Robin’s becoming increasingly infuriated with Lexa’s silence now. She takes another step towards the Commander and reminds her. Repeats the words Lexa had once spoken to her.

“Stop caring so much. Caring about someone will only get you killed. Love is weakness. You know that better than most. People die and you of all people should be used to it by now”. 

Lexa winces at her own words being thrown back at her. “Robin, … I didn’t mean it … not like that. It was more complicated than you think. I can explain, if you’ll just let me explain, I –”.

Her voice is cut off as Robin hand shoots out and grips her throat, applying pressure. Strangling her slightly. Not to the point where she couldn’t breathe though. Just so that she couldn’t speak.

“I’m not interested in what you have to say Lexa. You were supposed to do the right thing. You were meant to make things right. Avenge her death. Instead you made a truce with the Ice Nation. They killed Costia, Lexa; and you went and made peace with them. Did you really think that I could ever forgive you for that?”

Lexa grabs Robin’s hand – the one that is wrapped around her throat – by the wrist, gripping it tightly. She forcefully removes it from her windpipe. It’s easier than she had expected. But then again, that may be due to the fact that Robin can barely stand up at this point. The blood rushing to her head is starting to affect her quite heavily.

Robin’s eyes are drooping now. Her eyelids flutter as she tries desperately to remain conscious. It doesn’t work. She blacks out. Her legs give out from beneath her.

Lexa catches her as she falls. Gently, she lowers her old best friend to the ground. With Lexa now sitting on a large tree root; and Robin’s head resting on her lap, she whispers her explanation to the wind.

“I know that’s what it seemed like. That I was only thinking with my head; and not my heart. But, that’s not true. That’s not what I was doing. The truth is that I couldn’t risk it. Losing you. Not both you and Costia. So, I pretended not to care. To be heartless. That her death didn’t faze me. Affect me”.

 

“I lied, Robin. I lied; to protect you. To keep you safe”.

 

 

Looking at Robin’s broken body sprawled out at her feet, Lexa sighs. “It didn’t go to plan, obviously”.


	15. History, Never Repeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lincoln”.  
> “Yeah?”  
> “I hate you sometimes”.

 

Lincoln is completely caught off guard. With the countless scenarios that had been racing through his mind, this was not what he’d been expecting. He stumbles to a halt, tripping slightly over a tree root before managing to catch himself at the last possible second.

Lexa’s staring at him. With this annoyed look on her face. The same one she had always had whenever Lincoln would try interfering with her and Robin’s friendship.

Her face relaxes as she notices the way is looking at the pair of them. With relief. She drops the mask of irritation she had been hiding behind and continues softly running her fingers through Robin’s long sun-kissed hair. Untangling it, getting rid of all those pesky knots that her friend had always hated. With Lexa’s fingers gently scraping against her scalp, Robin’s entire body subconsciously relaxes.

 

“Lexa”, Lincoln states warily.

“Lincoln”, she softly responds.

“What happened Lexa?”

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

Lexa pauses. She still isn’t entirely sure about that yet. Lexa has always been slightly clueless about how other people felt. But, she’s guessing – correctly – that Lincoln isn’t all too happy about the kill order she had placed on him.

It wasn’t that she didn’t care about what happened to him anymore. It was more the fact that she hadn’t been making very good choices lately. Her people expected her to be unbiased. Yet she had recently led with without their best interests at heart. Instead letting her own heart guide the way. Telling her what to do.

It wasn’t until Indra had whacked her head one day – about a month ago now; knocking some sense into her. That was when she had realised what she needed to do. She needed to be heartless. Again. Uncaring in her decisions. Regardless of who’s’ feeling she hurt in the process. Or how she felt herself.

Of course that hadn’t been easy. Not when Clarke had looked at her like that. With betrayal and disbelief. Looking so much like Robin had all those years ago. Shocked, angry, sad and disappointed. Disappointed in Lexa. For not doing what she had been expecting. What she had promised.

Except, Robin had been kneeling over Costia’s corpse. What had remained of her broken, mutilated body anyway.

And when all those memories had come flooding back to her, as she faced Clarke at the top of Mount Weather, Lexa realised something. She was making the same mistakes over and over again. Repeating history.

She knew then, in that moment that Clarke would hate her. Hate her for abandoning her. For leaving her alone to fight the mountain. Hopefully, one day Clarke would understand. She may not forgive Lexa, but maybe she might understand. Someday.

 

 

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

 

Lincoln understood why Lexa had done what she had. Placing a death sentence on him. As he himself had once explained to Abby and Kane, Lexa couldn’t afford to be weak. She had to be decisive and not let her emotions cloud her judgement. Otherwise everyone would rise up against her and have her killed. 

‘Besides’, Lincoln reasons with himself, ‘it wasn’t as if Lexa was trying all that hard to have him killed'.

Although that was probably due to the fact that he and Robin had grown up side by side. Lexa knew that killing Robin’s childhood friend was not the way to mend their fragmented friendship.

 

Eventually Lexa speaks. “She needs help Lincoln”. She pauses for a moment; visibly distraught. “And she isn’t going to accept it from me”.

 

Lincoln doesn’t respond. Not yet anyway. It’s always been better not to interrupt Lexa when she’s venting. Otherwise she would just close down, stop talking altogether.

 

Lexa’s barely even whispering now, but Lincoln still hears her. He had always been a good listener. Which is why he was one of the few who actually knew. Knew the way that the three girls had co-depended on each other; relied on each other. ‘ _Lincoln’s Angels_ ’, everyone had called them – in reference to an ancient tale of three badass women who consistently saved people’s lives whilst beating their enemies into oblivion.

 

Lexa’s quiet voice echoes through the air, “She hates me”.

 

Lincoln sighs and sits himself down next to Lexa. He places a supportive arm around her shoulder, quietly comforting her. Not moving it or reacting when he feels his sleeve becoming soaked in Lexa’s tears. It isn’t the first time after all. That Lexa had broken down in front of him. Or that he had automatically gone to comfort her.

 

Lincoln didn’t enjoy seeing people upset. Just as Lexa didn’t enjoy people seeing her this way. There had always been an understanding between the two of them though. If Lexa had ever needed someone to talk to (or cry on) then Lincoln would be there. Like her always was, for each of his ‘Angels’. When they needed someone to talk to. When they couldn’t talk to each other. When they just wanted to. He would be there for them. Always.

Lincoln had forever been the one person that Lexa, Costia and Robin confided in. Trusting him with their secrets. And rightfully so. Lincoln had never told a soul anything his three friends had told him in confidence. Although plenty of people had asked. Curiously sticking their noses where they didn’t belong. This continued until he started breaking said noses.

 

Lincoln had always looked out for them. Not in any obviously noticeable way though, because he knew they didn’t want that. Didn’t want – or need – someone to protect them. Still, he had always been the unofficial, overprotective, older family figure to the three of them. Making sure that they were alright. Getting into fistfights with anyone who made disrespectful comments about them. Generally, looking out for them. Making sure they were safe.

 

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

 

“Lexa”, he begins. Nudging her softly with his knee.

She hums, acknowledging that she’s listening.

 

“It’s a good thing that she hates you”.

Lexa sits up and glares at him. “No it isn’t Lincoln”.

Lincoln rolls his eyes, “Let me finish Lexa”.

 

She nods slightly, conceding the point. Realising, as she always did, that Lincoln knew what he was on about.

 

“It’s a good thing that she hates you because it means she still cares. Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on someone that you don’t care about”.

 

Lexa snorts at this. Trust Lincoln to be quoting the famous philosopher, Oswin Oswald – of the starship Alaska. Not that she minded. The stories of the past had always given her hope for the future.

 

“Lincoln”.

“Yeah?”

“I hate you sometimes”.

 

Lincoln smiles at this. “I know. I hate you too”.

      

  

 


	16. Distinguished Warriors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Flashback*
> 
>  
> 
> Robin rolls her eyes, before replying, “You’re back then? Good, it was boring without you here”.

 

The slightly older women walks into the healer’s hut – spotting Robin instantly, she’s sleeping. Pausing at the entrance she sheathes her sword. Smiling to herself, she sneakily approaches the unmoving figure, barely making a sound. Moving stealthily, she positions herself within striking distance. Without making a sound she wordlessly grabs the jug of water placed on the bedside table and empties the contents. On Robin.

 

Robin’s splutters awake, reaching for her assailant, knife in hand, ready to strike. Before she realises who it is. Scowling now, she throws the knife to the floor, relinquishing her grip on the older girls’ collar. Inspiration strikes her and she quickly pulls her attacker into a hug, who squirms uncomfortably before shoving her away, gently.

 

“You’re soaking wet”, she mutters at her friend.

“Yeah well, whose fault is that Anya?” Robin jokingly responds.

Anya smirks, “Yours; definitely your fault”.   

Robin rolls her eyes, before replying, “You’re back then? Good, it was boring without you here”.

Anya sighs, “No, not yet. Lexa requested an update on the whole ‘situation’. Headed back tomorrow to keep an eye on things”.

“Situation?” Robin asks, unable to keep the amusement out her voice. “Are the aliens giving you trouble, Anya?”

“Astronauts Robin. Not aliens”, Anya replies with a slightly annoyed tone.

“Same difference. They’re technically trespassing; therefore ‘illegal’ aliens. Either way, they shouldn’t be here”.

Anya’s smiling now, her voice practically dripping with sarcasm now, “Well, that’s a bit judgemental of you. Who knows? They could be perfectly reasonable people”.  

“Yeah, sure. And I’m planning on becoming a vegan”.

They’re both laughing now. That’s not going to happen. Ever.

 

 

“So”, Anya begins, “Did I miss anything worth mentioning?”

“Not really, no”, Robin tells her. “Saved Lexa’s life”.

“Again?”

“Killed another wolf”.

“Looks like it almost killed you”.

“Lexa and Costia finally admitted that their undying love for each other wasn’t just a figment of everyone’s imagination”.

 

 

Anya’s silent for a moment, her mouth opened in shock.

“What? Those two idiots actually caved in to popular opinion? Doesn’t sound like them. Tell you what though”, she says with a smile. “That’s proof that peer pressure can be effective”. She’s looking directly at Robin with a knowing smirk growing on her face.

Robin scratches the back her head, ever so innocently. “I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re trying to insinuate, Anya”.

“I’m sure you don’t. You would never be so devious. It isn’t in your nature”.

Sighing now, Robin responds, “Can we please talk about something else?”

“Fine by me”, Anya relents.

 

 

Continuing now, she asks, “Are you going to the bonfire tonight?”

Robin frowns, suspicious of the seemingly casual question, “What’s it for?”

“It’s a celebration. Invitations were only issued to distinguished warriors and the elders”, Anya states bitterly, clearly not wanting to go into more detail.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Robin inquires.

“Triston is the guest of honour”, Anya mutters.

Robin’s entire face glazes over with anger. “Not going”.

“Robin”, Anya begins, “I don’t like him either, but I wanted –”.

Interrupting her, Robin spits, “No, I’m never going to celebrate with him. He’s a rude, snobby, bigoted, obnoxious, judgemental son of a –”.

“– to go with you”, Anya finishes her sentence, cutting Robin off abruptly.

                                                                                                                                    

Robin falls silent immediately. She’s determinedly looking anywhere but at Anya. Apparently she finding her feet very interesting to look at. For the moment anyway.

 

“They’ll be alcohol”, Anya offers nervously.

“I’m going”, Robin replies, within seconds; looking at Anya now, with a slight smile forming on her face.

 

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

Within seconds, their lives changed forever. When they heard that scream. Lexa’s scream. 

 


	17. Sweet Little Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Flashback* ... continuing directly on from the previous chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> She knows. She knows what he’s going to say.

 

They’re both running, towards Lexa. Lexa almost never screams, so they both know just how serious this will be. Anya is quicker, easily outstripping her slower, injured friend. Robin is moving as fast as she can – towards her best friend who has mysteriously gone deathly quiet.

“LEXA!” she yells, fearing the worst. What Robin believes her worst case scenario would be anyway. What had always been one of her greatest worries in life; Lexa’s dead. Someone or something had killed her. And Robin wasn’t there to save her. This is the thought – the fear – that had been consuming her since she befriended Lexa. Robin didn’t do that often. Letting someone in; caring. But, Lexa crept inside somehow. Getting past all of Robin’s defences – her walls that she put up to protect herself – and had made herself at home in her heart.

There’s a crowd gathered. Blocking her path. Separating the pair of them. They’ve been silent until now; but upon seeing Robin they all start murmuring, nudging each other and looking at her. With sympathy. Her dread growing to even higher heights, she angrily pushes her way through. Roughly shoving the people staring at her out of the way. Out of her way. Finally, she bursts through.

Immediately she spots Lexa, breathing a sigh of relief as she does so. Lexa doesn’t notice her though. She has her face buried in Lincoln shoulder. Lincoln for his part is staring at the ground; one arm tightly embracing Lexa as her entire body shivers against him. Staring in shock at something at their feet. Robin squints, unable to determine what it is. Yet.

Lincoln glances up, spotting her. His mouth opens, but Robin can barely hear him. She too busy approaching the pair. She’s still looking at the bloodied object in front of them. It’s a strange shape; bent, misshapen and quite irregular.

“No, … Robin! Don’t come any closer. Don’t look”, Lincoln half whispers; as loudly as he can manage.

 

Frowning now, she completely ignores him. Feeling an arm grab her, she half-turns. It’s Anya. Batting her hand away, she continues moving. Looking away from her now, and back towards whatever it was that was lying at Lexa’s feet, something catches her eye. A scar. A crescent moon scar. Costia’s scar. The one she had on her left shoulder. The scar she had from trying to impress Robin as a child. By climbing the oak tree as high as she could. Before inevitably falling from the sky to the ground below.

  

Robin freezes in her tracks. Unable to move. She’s paralysed. Except for her eyes. They’re searching. Frantically.  Searching for proof. Proof that this isn’t her. That this mangled body isn’t her sister. Her baby sister; the one person who she had loved unconditionally. Who had loved her regardless of what she had done or said. Costia, the person she cared about most in this world. The person she had vowed that she would never let anything happen to.

 

 

She doesn’t find any.

Nothing to prove that it isn’t her.

Isn’t her sister.

Lying there, unmoving. Almost unrecognisable. Soaked in blood. Splayed out, like a grotesque piece of abstract art. Headless. Dead. Completely and undeniably dead. 

 

 

Robin speaks. Just one word, scarcely whispered; but it resonates. Spreading over the crowd, silencing them in an instant.

“No”. 

Anya tries to hug her. Comfort her. Robin isn’t having any of it. Shoving Anya away from herself as hard as she can manage, she repeats herself.

“No”. This time an angrier tone; a desperately angry, pleading tone. Full of despair.

Anya and Lincoln exchange glances. Understanding the silent proposal immediately they trade places. Anya’s now comforting Lexa, running her fingers gently through her hair. Whilst Lincoln is slowly approaching Robin, trying not to startle her.

It doesn’t work. Robin’s backing away from him. Keeping a distance in-between them. She knows. She knows what he’s going to say. And she doesn’t want to hear it. She can’t hear it. That would mean that it’s real. That she isn’t dreaming. That this all isn’t some twisted nightmare.

 

“No Lincoln”, she whispers.

“Robin …” he replies sadly, tears streaming down his face.

“Don’t”, Robin harshly hisses. “Don’t say it”.

Lincoln says it. “I’m so sorry, Robin”. Taking a deep breath he continues, “She’s gone”.

 

 

Robin stops moving away from him. Seizing the lull in her defences, he darts in. Pulling her close and embraces her tightly. Refusing to let go. In case he’ll lose her too. In case she dies as well. Leaves him as well. Everyone is always seeming to die on him. Why was it that the people he cared about most always left him? Leaving him with a hole in his heart where they used to be. He’s sick and tired of it. Losing people; the people he cared for. He wants it to stop. He wants the fighting to end. He’s going to find a way. It may take years, but he will find it, somewhere. Lincoln is determined to find peace. Someday, somehow, he will find it.

She isn’t happy about this latest development. Robin attempts to angrily shove him; to push him away from her. She doesn’t want to be held, she wants to hurt someone. Hurt someone so badly that they would know how she felt; on the inside. Slipping out of Lincolns embrace she draws her fist back before unleashing it upon his face.

Lincoln is sent stumbling away by the force of the blow. He hesitates, before refusing to retaliate. Knowing that Robin needs to get it out of her system. She hits him again and again. His face, his chest, his arms. They’re literally covered in bruises now. Still Robin relentlessly continues. She doesn’t know how to stop.

 Indra ever so slowly walks over to her, pulling her away from Lincoln. Robin turns angrily; ready to begin assaulting whoever it was who grabbed her. She falters when she sees it Indra. Who’s gazing past her, eyes locked on the remnants of Costia’s broken, bloodied body.  Her entire face taunt, twisted in pain with a glazed look in her eyes. Indra’s clenching her jaw. Determinedly not letting a single tear escape. She’s trying to be brave. To be strong; for Robin’s sake. To be her rock; her centre, her anchor. Someone to tie herself to, to fight her way through this.

 

 

Robin un-tenses, allowing Indra to pull her into a bone-crushing embrace. She leans her head over Indra’s shoulder. And asks her. 

“Lie to me?” she whispers. “Please”.

“I can’t”, Indra murmurs.

“Tell me everything is going to be fine”.

“It won’t be”.

“Please Indra. Lie. Make this alright. Tell me lies. Tell me anything. I don’t care. I just need it to be gone. It hurts. So much. I can’t do this. Not without you. Make it stop. Please make it stop. I don't know how. Lie to me. Please. Help me”.

 

 

Indra sighs, eventually relenting. Telling Robin the words that she wants to hear. Needs to hear. That they both need to hear. “You’ll move past this. One day you will make peace with her death. It won’t haunt you for all eternity. This won’t be the first thing you remember when you wake up each day. Or the last thing you think of before you go to sleep. You, are going be fine Robin. You will survive this; I promise”.

 

Robin’s silent for a moment. Then she whispers, “Thank you”.  

 

 

 

 


	18. Endearing, Annoying: What's The Difference?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying ever so desperately to remain calm, she turns to Indra and smiles politely.

 

 

“Lexa?” Indra’s voice queries; calling out from a distance, shattering the silence in an instant.

Turning to Lincoln, Lexa instructs him, “Get her out of here”.

Lincoln hesitates for a moment before nodding his understanding. Gathering Robin’s limp body in his arms; he gently, yet hurriedly left without another word. Headed determinedly towards Arkadia. Only pausing momentarily to grab Octavia’s fallen sword as he walked past where it had fallen.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

Lexa watches them go. Watched Lincoln walk off with Robin. Supporting her; as he always had. Lincoln had always been there for her; and unlike on previous occasions, Lexa wasn’t jealous in the slightest. Jealous of how close the pair were. Wasn’t jealous of how Lincoln just always seemed to know what to do. Or of how he always knew what to say, when someone you care about is hurting. When she herself – most of the time – had no idea. None at all. All Lexa ever seemed to do with her words were hurt people.

That’s probably the main contributing factor as to why she doesn’t talk all that much; not anymore anyway. Once upon a time, it had been a struggle for anyone to shut her up. She would constantly be chatting away in someone’s ear. It was annoying. Lexa was annoying. Costia found it endearing, finally finding someone who loved talking as much as she did. Robin pretended that she thought Lexa’s constant yammering was irritating, but yet she never asked for her to stop. To stop talking. She would never have admitted it, but Lexa’s voice calmed her. It hadn’t been uncommon for Robin to doze off while Lexa spoke. Although not because what Lexa was talking about was necessarily boring. It was more the case that Robin found her voice relaxing. Soothing. Listening to Lexa’s voice had always calmed her down. Until one day it didn’t.   

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“There you are”, Indra’s irritated voice sounds from behind her, snapping Lexa out of her trance.

Trying ever so desperately to remain calm, she turns to Indra and smiles politely. It’s an obviously forced smile; not friendly in the slightest. Then again, it wasn’t meant to be. Lexa is extremely pissed off at Indra. For the moment anyway. For being so manipulative of everyone. Of her, of Robin, of Octavia. For setting this whole thing up. Moving them against each other; playing with them like they were pawns. Pawns in a game of chess that Indra had staged. Staged so that there could be only one possible outcome. That Lexa would find Robin again.   

“So”, Indra begins, sensing the mood. “See anything interesting today?”

 

Lexa moves past her, headed in the general direction of Polis. Indra falls into step beside her. Scanning her surroundings as she does so. Lexa eventually answers her question with a slightly sarcastic undertone.

“No Indra. Why would I? What could possibly be so interesting? There wasn’t anything worth mentioning at all. Same as there wasn’t for the previous three days, when you have ‘suggested’ that there might be – and I quote ‘Something worth seeing’. There was nothing at all”.

Indra has a slight frown forming on her face. All her plans – what she had been attempting; trying to do – seem to be achieving nothing. She sighs slightly. Thinking that she’ll need to find another way to force the two idiots – Lexa and Robin – that she was fond of together again. Her step slows for a moment; remembering that she used to love three idiots. Shaking her head slightly – as if to shake away the pain of yesterday – she hurries after Lexa, who’s striding at a faster pace. Combine that with her lengthier legs and Indra was practically jogging in an attempt to keep up with her.    

 

 

“Oh and Indra”, Lexa calls over her shoulder.

Indra grunts in her general direction, acknowledging that she’s listening.

Lexa continues, with an almost amused voice, “The next time you see Octavia you should probably refrain from making any comment about her sword. Robin stole it”.

 

Indra skids to a halt at the mention of her name. With a slight smile forming on her face she hurries after Lexa. Elbowing her in the ribs once they’re side by side again.

“Nothing interesting at all, hey?” she smugly asked Lexa. Raising her eyebrow slightly. In the exact same way Robin did. Teasing Lexa, as Robin had also done. A long time ago it seemed now.

  

“Indra”.

“Yeah?”

“Please stop talking”.

“Never going to happen, Lexa”.

 

 

Lexa would deny it afterwards, but at that exact moment; before everything went south, when it was only her and Indra. Alone, talking between themselves; she was smiling.

 

 


	19. Reluctant Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More than anything in the world he wants to smack him over the back of the head for being such a hypocritical douchebag.

 

 

Octavia and Bellamy are caught off guard when they see Lincoln reappear. Walking towards the pair of them. Cradling Robin’s limp body to his chest. His eyes eventually turn up and away from her and gaze into Bellamy’s. Asking the silent question. The question that he couldn’t voice out loud because he knew what the answer would be. A resounding and irrefutable ‘No’.   

 

“No chance in hell”, Bellamy furiously informs Lincoln. There’s not a chance in the world that he would allow Lincoln to bring Robin into Arkadia. Never. No chance whatsoever.

Lincoln simply glares at him, seething at Bellamy’s stubbornness. More than anything in the world he wants to smack him over the back of the head for being such a hypocritical douchebag. He won’t though. Not because he’s dating Octavia, however. Or that he has become to regard Bellamy as a friend. No. The only reason he isn’t backhanding Bellamy is that he’s holding Robin. And he isn’t going to put her down. Not until someone agrees to help him.

Help him save her; he can’t afford to lose another person he cares for. Not when it’s such a strong possibility that soon everyone he cared for could be lost forever. Everyone and everything. Lincoln can smell the storm coming. The storm of war. A war which would ravage the lives of everyone in its path. Regardless of whether or not they were ready for it. It was coming. It was only a matter of time before it destroyed everything in its path.

 

 

“You can’t seriously expect me to allow her inside Lincoln”, Bellamy continues. Albeit with a slightly less enraged tone.

Octavia nods her agreement. She doesn’t want to be anywhere near Robin. She doesn’t cope well with crazy. Even less so with murderous psycho. ‘Which is what Robin is’, she thinks to herself. ‘A crazed, murderous psychopath’.

 

“Care to elaborate, Bellamy”, Lincoln asks with an annoyed tone. “You’ve never met her. You only know what others have told you. You have no right to be so judgemental. Not after what you’ve done”.

 

Bellamy clenches his jaw in anger. Taking a threatening step towards Lincoln he hisses, “What I’ve done, Lincoln? I did what I had to. To save my people. I have always done what is in their best interests”. He pauses for a moment to recapture his composure. Gesturing at Robin he continues, “What she did is unforgivable Lincoln. She wasn’t trying to save anyone. All she managed to accomplish was to leave a trail of death and destruction in her wake. She is a mass-murdering, cold-hearted killer, Lincoln. And I won’t allow you to bring her inside”.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Lincoln replies, “That’s not who she is. It’s what she did. Robin lost her sister Bellamy. She lost the only family she had left. She lost herself. Gave in to hate and anger. Robin was a good person once. But she lost the one person who meant everything to her. Her younger sister”.

A silence settles over all of them. No one dares to speak. Not one of them is willing to break the tense atmosphere.

  

Lincoln spares Octavia a glance – she’s being uncharacteristically silent after all – before whispering to Bellamy. In a low tone, so that he would be the only one to hear.

“How far would you go? If it was Octavia. If someone murdered her and left her mutilated body for you to find. What would you do? Where’s the line, Bellamy? You can’t be willing to cross it if you aren’t able to accept others for doing the exact same thing”.

“Tell me Bellamy. What would you choose? Your morality or your sister? Would you toe the line of what’s ‘right’ and ‘wrong’? Or would you do anything and everything you could to ensure that justice was served?”

Bellamy hesitates slightly before answering softly, “There are no lines. Not when it’s my sister”.

Lincoln nods. “Thought so”.

 

 

Bellamy reluctantly steps out of the way. Stops blocking Lincoln’s path and gestures in the general direction of Arkadia. “Let’s get her inside then”.      

                                                                                                                               

“Thank you” Lincoln softly states.

“Don’t mention it”, Bellamy automatically responds.

 

The three of them are headed there now. Once the gates come into sight, Bellamy speaks up again. “I’m serious Lincoln. Try not to mention who she is or what she’s done. That wouldn’t end well. For anyone. And especially not her”.

 

 

Lincoln bites his lip, realising that he’s right. Not wanting to admit that though he remains silent. Eventually nodding in agreement after Octavia elbows him, annoyed by his refusal to answer.

 

 


	20. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It doesn’t go unnoticed. Nia tilts her head slowly, sensing another weakness of Lexa’s that she can exploit. Another person that the Commander cares for.

Octavia purposefully walks towards the pair of them. Abby and Raven are seated together, in the middle of yet another heated argument. The same argument they’d been having for weeks. Judging by their tones, it was no closer to being resolved. Hesitating for a moment, Octavia slows for a moment, not wanting to intrude. Then she remembers that it’s her fault – partly at least – that Lincoln’s oldest friend is bleeding out in his arms. Pressing onwards she continues towards the two of them. Dreading both of their reactions, Octavia nervously coughs; instantly grabbing their attention.

 

Raven looks up at Octavia, her relief quickly invading every inch of her expression. Quickly she composes herself, not wanting anyone to notice just how relieved she was. That would mean that she cared about Octavia. Which she definitely did not. Raven didn’t enjoy Octavia’s company at all. Never had. Never would. At least that’s what she told everyone, including herself. Raven definitely didn’t care about her. ‘Not one bit’, she thought to herself, as she repressed the grin that was threatening to burst out of her at the sight of Octavia.

 

Abby is infinitely easier to read. Smiling coldly at Octavia she asks, “Back so soon Octavia? Tell me, how did your assassination go?”

“Oh …” Octavia whispers. “I ... ahh, not so well actually”, she somehow manages to stammer under Abby’s penetrating, cold, fierce gaze. If looks could kill, she’d need immediate medical attention. Which would be a problem, seeing that Abby would be her doctor. Desperately looking for an escape she glances at Raven for help.

 

Raven looks at her with a slightly guilty expression on her face. She hadn’t meant to tell Abby that particular detail, but the woman was terrifying when she wanted to be. Still, she shouldn’t have spilled. Slowly, so that Abby doesn’t notice, she mouths the word ‘Sorry’ at Octavia.

“What do you want Octavia?” Abby questions, interrupting the silent exchange between the two girls.  
“We … I need your help”.  
“In case you haven’t noticed. I’m rather busy trying to convince Raven that she should stop being so stubborn and let me help her”.

 

Octavia pauses for a moment. This is not going well at all. It must show on her face because Abby softens and sighs with exasperation.

“What is it? What do you need me to help you with?” she asks.

“An old friend of Lincoln’s was caught in the crossfire. She needs a doctor. She needs you”, Octavia quickly informs her. Somehow, successfully leaving out a few crucial details.

Abby’s already on her feet, brushing past Octavia. “Why didn’t you just say so?” she calls over her shoulder without pausing her stride. Headed towards the infirmary, she doesn’t bother turning to see if the two girls were following her. Abby doesn’t need to, knowing that they are right behind her.

 

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

 

“Wait”, Indra warns, while holding an arm out to block Lexa from continuing onwards. Someone is watching them. She can sense their prying eyes.  
Lexa glances around them, searching for whatever it was that Indra was worried about. Her eyes catch on the white war paint. Ice Nation. She gently nudges Indra and nods in their direction. Indra automatically moves between Lexa and the three figures. Which is why she is the first to realise exactly who it is.  
Queen Nia. With two bodyguards standing to attention at her side. Ready to strike at a moment’s notice. Inclining her head to Lexa she whispers, “The Ice Queen”.  
Lexa freezes at Indra’s hushed words. That can’t right. She can’t be here. Not now. Lexa can’t afford for that woman to see how vulnerable she was feeling at the moment. Glancing over Indra’s shoulder, she sees her nemesis staring coldly back at her.

 

“Commander”, Queen Nia says with a slight smirk. “I’ve been meaning to speak with you for quite some time”.

  
“Well, your highness”, Lexa replies with a scathing tone, “This is neither the time nor the place for such a request. I suggest you make an appointment at your earliest convenience. I’ll be sure to listen to any and every concern you may wish to express”.

 

Indra bites her lip, in an attempt to keep herself from snorting in amusement. Lexa being all diplomatic when all she wanted to do was drive a knife through that woman’s heart was not supposed to be funny. It was meant to be serious. Threatening. Still, Indra lets slip with a strangled half-snort, half-laugh whilst still glaring at the Ice Queen. Knowing – without a doubt – that if that women ever left guard down for a moment that Indra would be there in an instant. Slitting her throat. Consequences be damned.

 

Lexa not so subtlety kicks Indra, silently warning her to not to do anything rash. Especially not something that would get Indra killed in an instant.

 

Queen Nia acts as if Lexa hadn’t spoken at all. Approaching now, she informs Lexa. Looking down on her as she does so, towering above her. “We are all waiting on that official kill order, Lexa. Your ‘former’ bodyguard is rampaging the countryside, killing my warriors on sight. You are allowing her to do so.”

Lexa is refusing to let the older woman intimidate her. Not again. Staring back at her, meeting her gaze, she replies, “I’m terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your men. I was unaware of your predicament. Do you have any proof that it’s her? A sighting, maybe?”

 

The Ice Queen snorts angrily, “Proof Lexa? I don’t need proof. Who else could it be? Only the ‘Angel of Death’ could be so ruthless”.

 

Lexa’s entire body stiffens at that. “That’s not her name”, she replies on instinct. Not thinking for a moment of what Queen Nia will make of it. Of what it proves. That there was someone else she cared about.

 

It doesn’t go unnoticed. Nia tilts her head slowly, sensing another weakness of Lexa’s that she can exploit. Another person that the Commander cares for.

“Pray tell Lexa. What should I call her then? She’s had many names over the years. The ‘Wandering Warrior’, the ‘Bird of Prey’, the ‘Vengeful Defender’. Oh and my personal favourite, the ‘Red Robin’ – who is soaked in the blood of the innocent”.

 

 

Struggling now to keep herself in check, Lexa clenches her jaw in anger. Somehow she manages to hiss the words, “Her name is Robin. Just Robin”.

 

 

Queen Nia breathes in her silent victory. Now she knows for certain. Robin is Lexa’s weakness. And, exactly as she had done before, she plans to exploit it.

 

 


	21. Trouble In Medical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elbows, knees, and fists are exchanged between the pair of them as they both scramble to control the weapon. In the struggle it discharges.

 

 

                 

Abby’s almost finished stitching Lincoln’s friend back together. It’s always tense in the infirmary, but this was something else entirely. The static energy in this room is off the charts. Everyone is on edge; just waiting for everything to go sideways.

Abby frowns. Although it’s not uncommon for her to have an audience while providing medical assistance; there’s a noticeable difference from how it usually was. Dead silence. She’s never heard this small, sterile room be so quiet. It’s unusual to say the least. Add in the fact that Lincoln had steadfastly refused to tell her this girls’ name. Plus Bellamy is standing to attention, gun at the ready. Octavia is off to the side, fearfully gazing at her patient. Raven is nervously twitching as she catalogues – in detail – the numerous scars she can notice on Robin’s exposed skin alone.

All in all, something’s up. And no-one has the decency to tell Dr Griffin what is going on.

                                                                                                                              

 

“She’s stirring”, Lincoln warns Abby, finally breaking the silence.

Abby nods slightly before responding, “Just give me a moment. I’m almost finished here”.

Lincoln continues, “No, I think you better –”.

 

Abby doesn’t quite catch the rest of his sentence. She’s kind of distracted by the fact that her patient’s hand is crushing her windpipe.  

 

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

Robin has always dreaded waking up. Her dreams have always been her escape from reality. They were the one place she could go where her problems weren’t threatening to crush the life out of her. However, when she hears a strangers voice, inches away from her, she somewhat panics. Operating on pure instinct, her right hand reaches skyward. Acting on its own accord; it begins choking the life out of the woman standing above her before Robin even opens her eyes.

When her eyelids eventually part, moments later, she in blinded by the intensity of the artificial light. It’s surrounding her. Completely disorientating her, blocking out her senses. Except one: touch. So she tightens her grip. Clinging to the one thing that reassures her she’s still alive. Still here. The woman in the stark white, lab coat is struggling to breathe and is attempting – without success – to remove Robin’s hand from her throat. Pushing herself up from the flat, cold, metal surface; Robin forces herself to her feet and slams this unfamiliar person into the nearest wall.

Finally, shapes start to come into focus. Robin’s vision is adjusting. Squinting slightly she examines the face in front of her. ‘She looks familiar’, Robin thinks to herself. Now she’s trying to remember if she had previously threatened this persons’ life. Then it dawns on her. Clarke. This woman resembles Clarke. Before she can act on this information however – aka stop strangling her – her entire body is ripped away from the doctor with surprising force.

 

 

Bellamy throws Robin to the ground. Hard. Moving closer, placing himself in-between Abby and her attacker, he towers over her. His entire body is shivering with barely controlled rage and infuriation. His gun automatically raises and his finger itches against the trigger.

Before he can act any further on this sudden impulse, Lincoln spear tackles him. Sending the both of them tumbling to the floor. Elbows, knees, and fists are exchanged between the pair of them as they both scramble to control the weapon. In the struggle it discharges.

Everyone freezes at the sound of the gunshot. Slowly, Bellamy and Lincoln relinquish their grips on each other – and the gun, allowing it to clatter to the floor.

                                           

 

 

Raven breathes. She didn’t even realises she was holding her breath. Slowly, she inclines her head to her right and sees just how close to death she came. Again. Three inches. Three inches closer and that bullet would have made a mess of her face.

Octavia stalks over to her and shakily puts an arm around Raven, pulling her up and into a tight embrace. Regardless of whether or not Raven wanted one. ‘She must be in shock’, Octavia thinks. There was no other way that Raven would be allowing herself to be comforted. By anyone. Not since Mount Weather. Not since she pushed everyone away; isolating herself on a lonely island. Over Raven’s shoulder, she sends a death glare towards both Lincoln and Bellamy. Who upon seeing that look on her face, refuse to meet her gaze. Instead Bellamy is looking determinedly at his feet while Lincoln spares a glance at Robin.

 

 

Surprise surprise. She isn’t thrilled about this predicament either. In fact, she possibly seems angrier than Octavia. Robin is staring at the one familiar person; Lincoln. Warily she climbs to her feet, taking in her surroundings as she does so. Unable to hold her gaze any longer, Lincoln shifts uncomfortably before checking on Abby, to see how she’s holding up.    

 

 

Abby waves him off, gazing intently at the grounder who just tried to kill her. The grounder that was now cataloguing the number of exits. Checking and re-checking the positions of everyone in the room. Counting the number of makeshift weapons in the room and calculating the distance from them. Trying to distinguish if she could reach them before anyone else. Abby realises the girl is suffering from an extreme case of paranoia. Quite possibly the worst she has ever seen.

Robin can feel her gaze and tilts her head upwards, meeting it. She freezes. There’s something in her eyes. A kindness, a willingness to help. Too few people have that look in their eyes. Far too many people go their lives without ever knowing someone who could be selfless. Nobody has looked at Robin like that for a long time. Slowly her entire body un-tenses. Robin stretches her stiff muscles and scans the room. Spots Octavia and frowns slightly.

 

“Didn’t you just try to kill me?” she asks, gazing intently at the girl.

Octavia, upon hearing those words, visibly flinches and relinquishes her grip on her friend. Slowly but surely she nods. Before replying, “Sorry about that”.

 

 

Now Abby understands why the room had seemed so tense minutes earlier.

 

 

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“Care to explain?” Abby asks. Apparently no-one is up to the task because they all remain in complete silence. In fact everyone seems to be ignoring her completely. Robin has their undivided attention.

 

 

“Lincoln …” Robin growls, “Where am I?”

He doesn’t answer. Knowing exactly what her reaction would be. Silently, he begs the room to refuse to answer either.

 

Raven doesn’t get the memo. “You’re in Arkadia”.

 

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

                                                                                               

Robin’s entire body freezes. With anger coursing through her veins, she rounds on Lincoln and hisses, “The hell were you thinking? Why on Earth would you bring me here?”

 

“Robin …” Lincoln begins.

“Don’t ‘Robin’ me, Lincoln. I warned you to leave me alone. I told you to stop!”

“You know I can’t do that”.

 

Robin shakes her head in annoyed frustration. She’s breathing heavily now. Lincoln is the same as ever. Compassionate, kind, understanding and trying to help her. Which makes her feel only one thing. Guilty.

 

 

“Just stop Lincoln. Stop trying to save me”.

Lincoln stubbornly replies, “I’ll never stop. You’re worth saving. I know you are Robin. I don’t care if you disagree. I. Know. You. And you are not allowed to die”. He pauses for a moment before continuing, “Don’t you understand? I can’t lose you too”.

 

Tears are threatening to escape Robin’s eyes. Blinking furiously she shoves her emotions deep down, promising to deal with them later. Or not. Depending on what her mood is after she ‘kills’ Lincoln for being so ignorant of the position he’s put her in.

 

“Don’t you dare bring her into this Lincoln!”

“How else am I supposed to get through to you?” Lincoln angrily replies.

“Get through to me? Listen to me very closely. I don’t want or need your ‘help’. Leave. Me. Alone”.

 

 

“No. I made her a promise a long time ago. To keep you safe. I intend to keep it”.

Robin snorts, “It’s a bit late for that; don’t you think”.

Lincoln shakes his head sadly, “It’s never too late”.

              

“It is for me Lincoln. Stop searching for my redemption. I lost that possibility a long time ago. Stop trying to save my soul. I am a lost cause; I’m too far gone. So just stop, please”.

“That’s never going to happen Robin. I still care whether you live or die. Your life means something to me”.

 

 

Robin whispers softly, ensuring that Lincoln would be the only one to hear. “Well, I don’t care. And you shouldn’t either. I’m not worth it. Not anymore”.

“Shut up. Of course you are”, Lincoln responds before quickly pulling Robin into an all-encompassing hug. To his complete surprise and utter disbelief she doesn’t push him away. Not this time. Instead Robin relaxes further into his grip and breathes in the familiar safety that she has always felt in his arms.

                                                                                                  

 

 

 


	22. Heart Of Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Flashback*
> 
>  
> 
> Lexa can practically feel her resolve crumbling at this point, but she relentlessly ploughs through her own emotions – shoving them to the side.

 

                                                                                                

The sun slowly rises, illuminating the entire clearing. Whereas last night it had been packed with people; now it was practically deserted. Everyone had left, except for a certain few. Lexa, Anya, Lincoln and Indra were all there; off to the side. Physically Robin was there, sitting at Costia’s side, but her mind was elsewhere.

Thinking. A frown crossed over her, clouding her entire face. Flicking her eyes up towards Lexa she almost spoke. Almost asked her. Deciding against it Robin returned her gaze to Costia. Her sister’s beaten body hadn’t been moved yet. Or rather, Robin hadn’t allowed anyone to touch her. Not a single soul.

 

 

 

Indra nudged Lexa and whispered, “We need to talk”, while gesturing to a short distance away. Where Indra could be certain that Robin would not overhear. Lexa nodded slightly and slowly rose to her feet, sparing one last glance at Robin before she trudged over to where Indra was waiting for her.

Indra looked at Robin for a long drawn-out moment before eventually shifting her gaze back to Lexa. She’s quiet for a moment, knowing that Lexa won’t accept her words easily. Yet Indra knows she has to do something. Say something; anything at all. To protect her. To keep Robin safe.

“Robin wants blood and she isn’t going to stop. She’s going to get herself killed and you know it. You have to talk to her Lexa. Stop her, before she starts a war which we can’t possibly win. The Ice Nation is too powerful. It would take all the other clans combined to defeat them. You must convince her to stand down”.

“Then that’s what we’ll do. Unite the other clans. Form a coalition. Bring them together. Whatever it takes. I don’t care. But don’t ask me to do that. Don’t you dare ask me to let this slide. They killed Costia, Indra. … Costia”. Lexa’s voice falters for a moment before she shakily continues, “The Ice Queen is behind this. You know that she is responsible. So why would you ask that of me. Why would you have me spare Costia’s killer”.

“Think Lexa!” Indra angrily exclaims. “Killing Queen Nia would send everything spiralling out of control. The Ice Nation’s retaliation would cripple us. We don’t have the numbers, let alone the warriors, to defeat them. It would be a bloodbath. No one would survive”.

 

 

Lexa is quiet for a moment. She knows Indra’s right. It isn’t the right time. Not now. Or anytime in the foreseeable future. Killing the Ice Queen now would ensure death for them all. Lexa will wait. It may take years but she will have her vengeance. One day. Lexa has always been patient, preferring to play the long game.

Robin, not so much.

 

 

Sighing she softly states, “Robin isn’t going to like this. She isn’t going to back down. You and I both know she won’t rest until she kills her”. Lexa hesitates for a moment before continuing, “Or gets killed”.

Indra replies, “You have to talk to her Lexa. You need to tell her. You need to explain what is at stake”.

Lexa snorts, before responding “She won’t listen, she never does”.

“You’re wrong. Robin doesn’t listen to just anyone, Lexa, but she listens to you. She has always listened to you. Which is why it has to be you. She won’t hear it from me. She won’t accept it. Not unless you tell her”.

 

Lexa bit her lip, “I don’t like this and neither will she”.

“I know. If there was any other way … but there isn’t. And we both know that this is the only way to keep her safe”, Indra answers.

 

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Indra makes her way back towards the others, wordlessly telling them to give the two of them some much needed time alone.

 

 

 

Lexa nervously approaches Robin, anxious about what she’s about to say. Hesitating momentarily she eventually speaks, looking down at her best friend. “We need to talk Robin”.

Robin’s entire jaw clenches as she considers the tone in Lexa’s voice. Her angry gaze flickers up to Lexa. Their eyes meet and she icily whispers, “Yeah Lexa, we do”.

Pausing for a moment, Robin stares into Lexa’s soul before continuing. “Her head. It’s missing. So that means that the Ice Nation is behind this”.

Lexa takes a shaky breath, “I know”.

Robin nods. “I’ve been thinking about it, Lexa. I have been racking my brains trying to figure out why. Why would they kill her? What we be gained? Why her?”

Seeing where this is headed, Lexa voice catches in her throat. Somehow she manages to whisper, “Robin, don’t. Please don’t”.

Letting out a strained laugh, Robin shakes her head. “You knew. Didn’t you? You’ve already figured it out. Tell me Lexa. Were you ever going to tell me? Or did you think I wouldn’t realise”.

Lexa bites her lip, refusing to speak. But that’s all the answer Robin needs.

“You are the reason she’s dead”, Robin growls at her. “They killed her, because of you. My sister’s dead because you cared for her”.

Remaining silent, Lexa tries desperately to control her growing anger. Everything that Robin is saying is true – of course. That doesn’t stop it from hurting though. That doesn’t stop her best friends’ words from piercing her like a knife. Then Robin whispers the unthinkable. Completely shattering Lexa’s glass heart to smithereens.

“I wish I had never met you”.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

Somehow, Robin manages to reign in her temper. Somewhat. Looking away for a moment she loudly exhales before asking “What’s the plan?”

“There isn’t one”, Lexa icily responds.

Frowning in confusion Robin stares at her in utter disbelief. “What do you mean? You have to have a plan. You always do. Or an idea. Or something. You always know what to do. A plan of action”.

“Not this time. No plans, no nothing”.

 

Biting her lip, Robin doesn’t quite understand yet. “You’ll think of something. I know you will”.

 

Lexa can practically feel her resolve crumbling at this point, but she relentlessly ploughs through her own emotions – shoving them to the side. “No Robin. I won’t”.

 

Robin slowly shifts, her eyes narrowing as the implications of what Lexa is saying finally sets in. “You can’t mean that Lexa. We have to do something. You have to –”.

Cutting her off in an instant, Lexa hisses, “I don’t have to do anything. I refuse. I won’t do anything that will jeopardise the safety of my people. And you won’t either”.

“You can’t possibly expect me to just do nothing, Lexa. She’s my sister. Or have you forgotten that. The hell is wrong with you? I can’t just let this go. Let her death go unanswered. And I don’t, for the life of me, understand how you could”.

 

“You want to know how; because unlike ‘you’, Robin, I know the difference between doing what is easy and what is right. There is nothing to be done. We can’t always do ‘whatever the hell we want’, Robin. There are consequences for every action we take and this time; this time it isn’t worth it”.

“Isn’t worth it?” Robin scarcely whispers. “You don’t mean that. I know you don’t, Lexa. You think you can fool everyone, but not me. Never me. I. Always. Know. You know that. So why pretend? Why bother? I know you care”.

“I really don’t”, Lexa responds. “That’s always been you. You care too much. You always have Robin”.

 

Robin barks out a short laugh of disbelief. “You can’t be serious”.

“I am”.

“Lexa –”, Robin begins.

“No”, Lexa cuts her off yet again. “Stop caring so much. Caring about someone will only get you killed. Love is weakness. You know that better than most. People die and you of all people should be used to it by now”.

 

The deathly silence that follows would send the most hardened souls stumbling for cover. Robin is staring at Lexa with a hardened expression on her face. Rising to her feet, she invades Lexa’s personal space, glaring down at her with murder in her eyes

“You did not just say that”.

 

Lexa swallows nervously before managing to replace her look of fear with one of cold indifference. Not trusting herself to speak, she refuses to respond.

 

“You think I should stop caring?” Robin coldly questions her.

Answering with a slight nod of her head, Lexa waits for the inevitable meltdown. For Robin to yell, scream, punch, to attack her, to threaten her.

 

 

But she doesn’t. Nothing happens. Instead Robin just turns on her heel and walks away. Headed towards the healer’s hut. She doesn’t stay long. Only long enough to grab what she needs.

 

 

And then she's gone.

And she isn't coming back.

 

 

 


	23. Only Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are going to do? Sass me the death? Kill me with sarcasm?”

 

 

“You’re bleeding again”, Abby points out; nodding to Robin as she does so.

Robin disengages herself from Lincoln’s grip, lightly shoving him – and his comforting – away from her. Glancing down she sees that the woman right. Blood is once again seeping out of right shoulder. She begins glaring at Lincoln – as if he is to blame for this. It’s irrational, but she doesn’t care. She’s still annoyed that he brought her here. To Arkadia. He knows exactly how she feels towards these people, but yet he carried her through the gates regardless.

 

Seeing that look on her face, Lincoln cleared his throat and hurriedly left the room without another word. He knew where that had been headed, correctly sensing that he had been a few seconds from being hit. And as much as he cared about his friend, he wasn’t in the mood for conflict. Not today. Maybe tomorrow, but not right this second. Arguing with Robin never ended well for anyone.

Making a mental note to ask Robin later exactly how she managed that intense death glare, Octavia departs after her boyfriend. Wondering, and not for the first time; what had happened between the two of them. It was quite confusing. One minute he’s practically fighting Bellamy to the death, then he’s hugging Robin like he’ll never let her go and finally he leaves the room so quickly it wasn’t almost as if he had a teleportation device.    

      

“I’ll go in a second Abby, just give me a second”, Raven states as she struggles to stand up. She’s trying extremely hard to hide just how painful every step was.

The exasperated look that crosses Abby’s face was beginning to become a familiar sight for Raven.

 

“Raven”, Abby gently begins.

“Yeah … what?” Raven answers.

“Sit down, or I’ll make you sit down”, Abby somewhat threateningly tells her.

“Really, and how are you going to manage that?” Raven responds with a slight grin forming on her face.

“Chloroform”.

 

The smile slowly vanishes from Raven’s face and she lowers herself gingerly into her seat. Finally satisfied with her compliance, Abby turns her attention back to Robin. Before she can begin re-sewing this girl back together, Raven makes her typical half complimenting, half insulting remark.

   

“You know Abby, if you ever tire of being a doctor; you’d make a hell of a criminal”.

Abby drily responds, “Thanks Raven. And if I ever find myself considering that particular career change, you’ll be the first to know”.

“Better be”, Raven jokes, once again grinning like an idiot.

                                                                                                       

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

 

Shaking her head, Abby resumes her intense examination of the grounder in front of her. Remembering that she was yet to be given her name, probably for a good reason, Dr Griffin was unsure how to proceed. Then upon noticing that Bellamy was still in the room, menacing staring at the girl in front of her; she unceremoniously shoved the young man out. Not caring of listening to his words of protests. Shutting the door behind her, Abby smiled to herself, knowing that she had made the right call.

 

“You shouldn’t have done that”, Robin stated. It wasn’t a threat. She wasn’t planning anything. Yet.

“Why not?” Abby asked curiously. “Would you have preferred he stayed?”

“No”, Robin replies honestly, “but it’s your life. Your choice. If you want to stay in the room alone with someone who almost killed you a few minutes ago, then that’s up to you”.

 

“She’s not alone”, Raven angrily interjects. “I’m here”.

 

Turning to Raven, Robin rolls her eyes. “What are going to do? Sass me the death? Kill me with sarcasm?”

 

Raven’s eyes narrow, and she’s about tell Robin exactly how, what and where Raven will destroy her when Abby interrupts the pair of them.

 

“Anyway”, pointedly glaring at Raven – who raises her hands in mock defeat. Returning her gaze to the girl standing in front of her she asks, “How about we make a deal? You don’t kill me and I stop you from dropping more blood on the floor”.

 

Sighing, Robin takes her time before finally muttering, “Fine”.

 

“Good”, Abby continues whilst turning to grab a needle. “I’m going to give you a local anaesthetic”.

When she turns back Robin’s shifted a good five feet further away from Abby and is adamantly shaking her head.

 

“No, I’m fine. Don’t need that. Just stitch me up”.

“The stitches are going to hurt”, Abby explains. She doesn’t think Robin understands – but she does. “This is a numbing agent. You’ll still be awake, ok. I’m not going to render you unconscious. You’re safe here. I promise”.

“That’s not … that’s not what this is”, Robin barely even whispers.

 

Raven – unhelpfully – chimes in, “Don’t tell me the big, bad, grounder is scared of an itty bitty needle”.

A smirk appears on Robin’s face. “If you don’t stop talking I’ll give you something to be scared of”.

“Can’t wait”, Raven fires right back.

 

 

“Enough!” Abby’s voice silences the pair’s bickering in an instant.  

 

 

“Is it the needle? I can find a tablet if you’d prefer. I think they’re around here somewhere. Just give me a moment”, Abby asks while she searches for a more suitable painkiller.

“It’s not … I don’t … not because of the needle” Robin forces the sentence out of her mouth. It ended up being an indecipherable mass and missing a few crucial words.

 

Abby is silent for a moment before shaking her head and asking, ever so eloquently, “What?”

 

Robin sighs, slows her nervous voice and answers the doctor, “I know it’s going to hurt. I just don’t want the needle. Not because I’m scared. I need this”.

Abby frowns her confusion. Raven looks away, knowing exactly what Robin meant. Seeing that Abby is about to try to convince her otherwise, Robin continues.

 

“I need the pain. It’s the only thing that reminds me that here. Still breathing. Everything else in my life is numb. I don’t … feel anything. Except this. Pain, I still have that. And it reminds me that I’m only human. Throughout everything that has ever happened to me, pain is the one constant. I need it. So, no. I don’t want a painkiller. I want to remember everything that makes me, me. I wouldn’t be anything without my pain. It’s what makes me who I am”.

 

Mentally drained now, Robin looks away and breathes slowly. In and out. In and out.  Eventually she notices Abby turn away, busying herself with searching for a needle and thread. Not Raven though. Raven is staring at Robin; with understanding in her eyes.

 

 

For some strange reason that Robin is unaware of, she doesn’t feel like slitting Raven’s throat anymore. She frowns to herself, “How the hell did that happen?”  

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                     

 


	24. Sooner Or Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything ends. 
> 
>  
> 
> Death is the final answer.

 

 

Lexa stands stiffly in complete silence, watching her nemesis depart. The Ice Queen throws her one last spiteful glance over her shoulder, before gliding away in a state of cold indifference.

Indra’s hand twitches slightly towards her weapon. She could still do it. Kill her. Queen Nia isn’t quite out of range yet. Sighing slightly, she reconsiders. Maybe if Lexa wasn’t here. If Indra’s first duty wasn’t to keep the commander safe, then yes. She would have taken the chance. She may not live past her first strike, but it would have been worth it. To avenge Costia. Indra was willing to do anything. Anything at all. But she couldn’t. Lincoln wasn’t the only who had made promise to Costia; to keep her loved ones safe.

                                                                                                       

 **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

Robin and Lexa. Neither of them would admit to needing help. They were both too stubborn. Just as they would never listen when Costia asked them to be careful. To be safe. Costia greatest fear had always been that she would lose her sister. Robin, her true north. Her home, her family. One day it dawned on her. It wasn’t just Robin anymore. There was another person who she felt as if she couldn’t live without. Lexa.

So, she had enlisted the help of Anya, Indra and Lincoln. More or less she ordered them to keep them safe. Costia was quite persuasive when she needed to be. All three of them agreed without protest. Not because they were pushovers, but because it was Costia asking. The one person who kept them grounded, yet at the same time lifted them higher. Inspiring them to be their best selves. To be someone that she could be proud of; worthy of.

Without a doubt, the three of them all had a special place in their hearts for Costia. They always would. Time may change many things, but when you truly and deeply care about someone; that feeling never goes away.

When that person dies, that presence that you had in your heart, it doesn’t just fade away. It stays. Always reminding you that what you had is gone forever. All the good times, all the bad; your memories. They’re all done and dusted. It’s lost. And no matter what you do, or how hard you try, you will never be able to find them again.

 

Everything ends. 

 

Death is the final answer.

 

                                                                                                       

 **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

“Indra?” Lexa asks, nervous about her unnaturally stiff posture and the death glare locked on the back of the Ice Queen.

 

Indra loudly exhales through her nose, expressing her exasperation before speaking. “Remind me again why we can’t kill her”.

Lexa sighs slightly before responding with, “You know why. Their army is larger than the combined sum of the other clans. And that’s if they would side with us anyway, Indra. The Ice Nation is a formidable force. No-one wants them as their enemy. They’re powerful, Indra, they outnumber us easily and they’re ruthless. Not a particularly pleasant combination. Which is why the vast majority of our people are fearful of them”.

  “They don’t frighten me”, Indra argues.

“Sorry”, Lexa replies with a slight smirk forming on her face. “I should have been more specific. People in their right minds are terrified”.

Indra attempts in vain to keep a straight face. It doesn’t work. One of her rare genuine smiles creeps onto her face. “You really should be more respectful of your elders Lexa”.

“Oh really Indra”, Lexa replies with a laugh. “Tell me more about the infinite wisdom that the older generation possess. I’m sure it must be such a great burden always being so wise and noble”.

“You forgot good looking”, Indra somehow responds with a straight face. It isn’t long again before the corners of her lips are twitching upwards again.

 

                                                                                                           

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Walking back towards Polis, the two of them fall into a comfortable silence. Indra looks up at Lexa nervously. She knows she needs to say something, but it’s been a while. Too long since she’s seen Lexa this content and relaxed.

Sighing, Indra warily asks the question that she so desperately needed to know the answer to.

 

“Lexa?” she begins.

“Yes Indra”, Lexa responds, noting the change of Indra’s tone. It must be serious.

“The Ice Queen. She knows that you –”.

 Lexa can see where this is going and interrupts Indra, talking over her. “Don’t. Don’t go there. We are not discussing this”.

Indra stops walking, turns to face her and places herself in Lexa’s path. In silence she simply glares at Lexa.

“Get out of the way”, Lexa half whispers, half hisses.

“No”.

“Indra, -”.

 

“Don’t ‘Indra’ me. You’re not getting out of this. I know you don’t want to talk about it. That it brings up unpleasant memories, but you need to listen. You need to hear this”.

Lexa bites her lip, nodding her head at Indra to continue.

“The Ice Queen is constantly looking for opportunities to undermine you. To discredit you, to distract you. You can’t let her. Not again”.

Lexa grits her teeth before responding, “I know this. You don’t have to remind me that it’s my fault she’s dead”.

“Lexa, look at me”, Indra sternly says whilst tightly grasping her shoulder. “Costia’s death was not your fault”.

Lexa attempts – in vain – to remove Indra’s grip on her. “I should’ve warned her. She didn’t realise the dangers of being with me”.

Indra shakes her head slightly. “Lexa, you can’t blame yourself for this”.

“No, but –”.

“Lexa, stop interrupting”, Indra slightly snaps, quieting the Commander in seconds. “Do you really believe for a moment that would have changed anything? Costia was a clever girl, she knew the risks. She knew that it would put her in someone’s crosshairs. And I don’t think it mattered to her. Because you were worth it. To her, you were worth everything”.

 

Lexa swallows before whispering, “You can’t possibly know that”.

“Yes, yes I can”, Indra gently responds. “Who do you think told her that you were worth the risk?”

Lexa’s head darts up, searching Indra’s eyes for the truth. It’s there.

“You did that?” Lexa asks. “Why?”

Indra sighs, “Because you made her happy and that’s all I ever wanted for her”.

Lexa’s quiet for a moment before she softly responds “Thank you”.

                                                                                                       

 **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

“Don’t think you’ve gotten out of talking about it”, Indra continues.

Lexa stoically responds, “I haven’t. Believe me. I haven’t”.

“Well, what are you going to do about it?” Indra presses. “Queen Nia knows now. She knows that you still care about Robin. She isn’t safe”.

“She is for the moment. Lincoln’s with her”.

“Why am I always the last to know these things?”

“Well, for the last few months you’ve been petitioning for me to send people to kill her”.

“I knew she could handle them. Besides, how else would you even consider talking about her? You were to stubborn to admit that you missed her, but the moment I mentioned a kill order, you were up and armed, ready to fight me”.

Lexa sighs before responding, “You and your bloody mind games. Why didn’t you just say what you meant?”

“Because Lexa”, Indra replies with a smirk, “You have this annoying tendency to disagree with anything I say”.

 

“Shut up, I do not”, Lexa answered.

Indra raises an eyebrow.

Lexa quietly says, “Not always”.

 

Indra softly brings up the underlying issue. “Lexa. Robin’s not the only one that the Ice Queen knows you care for”.

Lexa frowns for a moment in confusion, “Who else is left Indra? Almost everyone I’ve ever cared for is either dead or gone”.

 

“Clarke”, Indra answers simply.

Lexa snappily replies, “Clarke hates me”.

“She might, but that doesn’t change the facts. You care her about her. The Ice Queen knows this and sooner or later, she will act upon this”.

 

“I know, Indra. I know”.   

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“I’ll think of something. I always do”.

 


	25. Broken Record

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upset people had always made her feel uncomfortable.

 

 

 

Abby frowns, examining the right shoulder of her patient. She could tell, without a doubt, that this girl had previously injured that particular area quite recently. What she couldn’t understand is how the grounder had survived the wound without immediate medical attention. Judging by her skittish reaction earlier, Abby presumed – correctly – that Robin didn’t exactly trust easily, therefore limiting the number of people she could go to for treatment. Of course there was a possibility that she had treated herself, but it seemed a bit unlikely.

Her eyes catch on the faint scars that the stiches had left after Robin had torn them. The grouping, it looked familiar. Too familiar. It was an exact replication of how Abby re-stitched her patients. Which meant …

“Raven, sorry. Can you give us a minute? I need to speak with …” Abby trails off, still unaware of her name.

 

Robin bites her lip, thinking about the repercussions. Eventually she offers, “Robin. My name’s Robin”.

“That’s a beautiful name”, Abby replies with a hint of a smile. “The ancients believed that the ‘Red Robin’s’ symbolised hope, rejuvenation, a bright future and new beginnings”.

Robin stiffens slightly when she hears that phrase. That name. She knows Abby doesn’t know; that she’s only referring to the bird. Which would be fine. Except for that fact that the grounder was sometimes referred to as ‘The Red Robin’. It wasn’t because of her resemblance with the tiny, winged creature. Rather the amount of blood on her hands.  

Noticing the palpable tension in the room, Raven continues her slow departure from the infirmary. It’s unbearably silent when she reaches the door. Looking back at the two of them, she calls out to Robin. “It could be worse you know”.

Robin frowns, her confusion evident upon her face, “How so?”

“Ravens were considered to be tricksters and untrustworthy. They were an omen of war, illness and misfortune. The harbinger of death; the bringer of bad news”, Raven responded dejectedly.  

Robin opens her mouth to respond to the girl, but she’s already out the door. Making a mental note to find her later, she returns her attention to Dr Griffin. Who is staring after Raven, deciding whether or not she should go after her.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

 

Robin coughs slightly, attracting her attention. Raising an eyebrow at the confused doctor she prompts, “You wanted to speak with me?”

 

Forcing her mind back to the present Abby nodded, humming slightly. She needed to phrase her question correctly. Otherwise Robin might shut her down completely.

 

Robin however, isn’t patient. She never had been. It was one of her greatest flaws. That and her tendency for violence. Sighing loudly, she simply stared at Abby with an annoyed look on her face. “Well, what is it?”

 

“Your shoulder. It’s injured”, Abby answers.

“Yes, I’m well aware thank you”, Robin snarkily responds. She doesn’t mean to be rude, but this women is stating the obvious.

“How long ago was it injured?” Abby inquires, ignoring her tone. “For the first time?”

Robin frowns suspiciously, “What does it matter?”

“I need to know”.

“Why?” Robin asks, all the while her glare intensifying.

 

Abby bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed. Eventually she settles on being straightforward. “Judging by the size and shape of the wound you would have required immediate medical assistance. Seeing that you are here, proves that you received it. So tell me, Robin. Who was it?”

Robin remains silent for the moment. Running the scenarios, the possibilities through her head. She could lie, but it wouldn’t be convincing. She had a feeling that Abby knew; that she was only looking for verification. Slowly, and softly she whispered, “I can’t tell you that”.

“And why not?” Abby icily asked. She knew those stitches. She knew exactly who had administered them to Robin.

“I promised”, Robin answered. Technically a lie, she hadn’t promised Clarke anything. However, she didn’t want to cause trouble for the blonde. Not after she had saved her life.

 

Abby sighed loudly before going about stitching Robin’s wound together again. The two of them successfully avoided eye contact throughout the entire procedure. Finishing within a few minutes, Abby removed her gloves before staring into her patients eyes. Catching her gaze, Robin held it for a moment before breaking it and pushing herself down and off the examination table. She was headed determinedly towards the door when Abby called out; asking a question. A question that froze Robin mid-stride.

 

“Is she alright?” Not liking how weak her had voice sounded, she restates it. “Is Clarke alright?”

 

Robin pauses for a moment before responding, deciding what to tell her. She settles on the truth. “No, she isn’t”.

The look that crosses the doctor’s face is almost unbearable to see. Taking three steps forward Robin places a supportive hand on Abby’s left shoulder, squeezing it gently. Abby looks up, tear ridden eyes meeting her own. Robin sighs, she’s about to do something ridiculously stupid.

“Clarke isn’t alright, Abby, but she could be. One day”. Internally Robin groans, she hates offering false hope. However, it has the desired effect. Abby’s entire face lights up at the prospect of her daughter being ok.

It’s gone again in a moment. Replaced by disappointment and uncertainty.

“You can’t know that for sure”, Abby informs Robin. “Anything could happen to her. She could be dead, she could be dying, she could be – ”.

“Abby”, Robin interrupts curtly. “Don’t go there. Trust me, Clarke’s too stubborn to die”.

A slight grin graces Abby’s face and a slight snort escapes her. It’s true, her daughter stubborn. Clarke took after her mother in that respect.

                                                                                                       

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

Abby nervously asks the question she really needed an answer to, “Do you know where she is?”

Robin voice catches in her throat. Attempting to answer quickly, she makes a mistake. She doesn’t understand what comes out of her mouth next. Why would she say that? What she had meant to tell Abby was a simple ‘No, I don’t know where Clarke is’. What came out however, was not planned at all. Somehow the words had slipped out of Robin’s mouth without her consent. It wasn’t that she didn’t mean them, it more the fact that she hated making empty promises. Especially when she was almost certain that she couldn’t keep it.

“I don’t know where she is, but don’t worry. I’ll find her”.

 

Before Robin can fully comprehend just how monumentally she had screwed up her answer, she is engulfed by a tight hug, courtesy of Abby Griffin. Struggling to breathe slightly, she lightly patted the doctor on her back.

It wasn’t until Dr Griffin whispered those two words that Robin knew it wouldn’t be an empty promise anymore. Regardless of everything else, she knew now that she had to find Clarke. Otherwise the guilt would come crashing down on her, again.  

Gently disentangling herself from the crying woman, she heads towards the door, leaving the sobbing woman where she stood. Upset people had always made her feel uncomfortable. Robin had next to no patience for dealing with or trying to reassure distraught individuals. Costia and Lexa had been the only exceptions. Robin had always known and wanted – felt as if she needed – to cheer them up.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬** **ஜ** **۩۞۩** **ஜ** **▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**   

 

Abby words are still resonating though her head. On a loop, like a broken record. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you”.

 

She sighed, knowing that it wasn’t going to stop. Not until Robin fulfilled her promise. Found Clarke. Flicking her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder in annoyance she exited the infirmary abruptly. ‘Looks like killing the Ice Queen will have to wait’, she thought to herself.  

 

                                                      


	26. Birds Of The Feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time - in a long time - that she had willingly accepted someone's help. Without being incapacitated or too wounded to protest.

She was alone, or so she thought. In these rare private moments, Raven allowed her face to relax. The constant smiling, talking, working and convincing people she was fine was exhausting. Breathing a sigh of relief, she leant back against the chair; relaxing her entire body into the cool, metal frame.

It had been a long day, after an even longer week. She was spent. If anyone else wanted to talk to her, they'd have to make an appointment. A slight smirk wormed it's way onto her face. She was alive. After everything, Raven was still breathing. An impressive feat, considering all that had happened to her in the short time period since she had first arrived on Earth.

 

"You're wrong you know", a soft voice called out from the doorway; shattering the serene silence in an instant. Raven started violently; completely caught unawares by the sudden interruption.

 

▬ ஜ ۩۞۩ ஜ

 

"Don't you knock?", Raven angrily snapped.  
Robin hesitated slightly before responding, "Sorry, I didn't mean to -"  
Interrupting her now, Raven queried, with a somewhat angry tone "To what? Give me a heart attack?"  
"That wasn't my intention".

"Wasn't you intention?" Raven mimicked, all the while raising an eyebrow at the odd, formal phrase. It didn't seem quite right coming out of the Grounder's mouth. Something wasn't sitting right with her. The way she said it. Almost as if it had once been an automatic response. To someone that they were used to arguing with.

Pushing the thought from her mind, Raven continued with, "So, what was you 'intention' then?"  
"Do you ever listen?" Robin asked with an annoyed tone. "To tell you that you're wrong".

"I'm wrong. Hmmm ... Care to be anymore vague about it? There's a fair few possibilities. You'll have to a bit more specific than that".  
"Your name", Robin answered simply.

Rolling her eyes now, Raven replied, with sarcasm heavy in her voice. "Fairly sure I know what my name is. I've had it for quite a while now".

 

Breathing out her annoyance, loudly, Robin attempted to retain her patience. "Could you please refrain for talking for a minute?"

Raven's lips twitch momentarily into a slight grin. Giving Robin a mock bow - and salute for good measure - she gestures for her to go on. Resisting the urge to whack the girl over her head proves difficult for Robin. Her hand twitches as she reminds herself - yet again - not to go causing unnecessary problems for herself. Slowing her breathing, in order to reign in her temper, Robin finally explains.

"Ravens don't symbolise death or destruction. They never did. They only forewarned it. The birds were considered to be wise, intelligent, thoughtful and intuitive. It was believed that they held powerful secrets. Ravens were often used as messenger birds because they always reached their final destination. They were also known for being a great judge of character".

 

ஜ ۩۞۩ ஜ

 

The pair of them fall into a comfortable silence. Until Raven shatters the newfound peace in seconds with her next question.

"How would someone such as yourself know any of this? I thought you people spent all day perfecting the art of beheading".

 

Robin clenches her jaw at the mention of decapitation. It's been a while since that fateful day; but not a night goes by where she doesn't remember each excruciating detail. Feeling something dangerously close to tears forming behind her eyes, she quickly turns to an easier emotion. Anger.  
"What do you mean 'you people'?" Robin hisses at Raven.

 

Raven - wisely - remains silent. Not daring to speak for fear that she may send the other girl into an uncontrollable rage. She's not entirely sure on the exact details of Robin's past. Only that it involved a fairly substantial anger management problem and an even larger body count.

With nostrils flaring, Robin snorted, a short humourless laugh escaping her. "Typical. You think you're better than us; don't you? That you're more civilised, more educated and have a higher understanding of everything. Here Lincoln is trying to convince us all that you're different, but you're not. Are you? Just the same as your ancestors. Thinking that because you're 'privileged' that you automatically know better than everyone else".

 

Raven knows it's a bad idea. She really does. She should just let it slide. However, all her rational thinking has just gone out the window. Still, pushing herself out of her seat and slapping Robin with all her might, may well be one of the stupidest things she's ever done. And Raven has done a fair few stupid things in her lifetime.

As Robin is sent reeling, Raven speaks with a quiet, furious whisper."I may be many things, but don't you dare call me privileged. You don't know me. So don't pretend for a second that you do".

 

▬ ஜ ۩۞۩ ஜ

 

Rubbing her face slightly where Raven had struck her, Robin couldn't help the grin that was forming on her face.  
"What the hell are you smiling about?" Raven asked angrily.  
"Nothing", Robin answered quickly wiping the expression from her face.

Raven continued, still fired up, "No, what is it?"  
You just reminded me of someone. That's all. A friend of mine". A certain sadness crossed Robin's face, before it was quickly shoved to the side. Replaced as it usually was with a look of cold, uncaring indifference.

Raven wasn't fooled in the slightest. "This friend of yours. She died. Didn't she?"  
Biting back her urge to strike the intrusive girl - yet again - Robin nodded. Not trusting herself to speak. Afraid that she would sound how she felt; distraught, abandoned, weak and alone.

 

"I'm sorry", Raven offered, trying to sound somewhat sympathetic.  
"Why? You didn't kill her", Robin responded dejectedly.  
Raven sighed, "Still. I'm sorry for your loss".  
Blinking up at her, Robin whispered a barely audible "Thank you".  
"No problem", Raven answered with a slight smile, while extending an arm to help the other girl up.

Warily, Robin took Raven's hand and allowed herself to be helped to her feet. The first time - in a long time - that she had willingly accepted someone's help. Without being incapacitated or too wounded to protest.

 

"Your friend, the one you lost. The one I remind you of. What was her name?"  
Robin hesitates slightly before answering honestly, "Anya. Her name was Anya".

Raven pauses for a moment, thinking - correctly - that she should probably refrain from mentioning that she almost killed Anya herself with that explosion on the bridge. Eventually she tells Robin, "You remind of someone else too".  
"I'm sorry to hear that", Robin told her.  
"What? Why?" asked a thoroughly confused Raven.  
Choosing her words carefully, Robin responded with, "I'm not the type of person most people want to meet. Or to be reminded that they know me".

 

"It's ok, it's fine. His name was Finn. I knew him my whole life. He saved me on the Ark. Growing up he was my family. He did something - something terrible - and people died. Too many. The guilt was too much for him. He gave himself up to your Commander".

Robin, who up until this point had remained deathly silent, not daring - or wanting - to interrupt, corrected Raven immediately. "I have no Commander".  
Frowning now, Raven queried, "I thought all twelve clans swore allegiance to Lexa?"  
"They did", Robin answered shortly, clearly trying to avoid the question. When Raven doesn't leave it alone she elaborates. "Technically, I'm no longer affiliated with any of the clans".  
"Why not?" Raven questions, legitimately curious.

Echoing her words slightly, Robin responds,"I did something terrible. People died and I never forgave myself. So I left. Before Lexa could do something stupid".

"Sentence you to death by a thousand cuts?" Raven asks, assuming that was the standard punishment.

 

Robin snorts. "No, that's what she should've done. It's what has always been done. I knew she wouldn't though. Lexa's too stubborn and doesn't care about her own safety enough. She wouldn't have sentenced me to anything. That idiot cares far too much and her caring would've gotten her killed. So I didn't give her a choice. I didn't go back. I left everyone and everything behind so that she wouldn't have the chance to forgive me. I left because I had to. I stayed away because it was the right thing to do. To keep her safe. To protect her. That's all that's important; that she remains safe".

 

▬ ஜ ۩۞۩ ஜ

 

Pausing for breath momentarily, Robin skims over the rest of her repressed memories, promising to deal with them later; or not, depending on what her mood is.  
Raven frowns, "Lexa's cares? I don't believe that for a second. She has a heart of ice".  
Smiling slightly, Robin responds, "That's what she wants everyone to think".  
"And why would she want that?" Raven asks, clearly not believing her.  
"Lexa's an idiot; that's why. And sometimes ... sometimes caring just hurts too damn much".

 

Raven raises an eyebrow and asks her, "Speaking from experience?"  
"No, I don't care. Never have", Robin lies through her teeth.  
"Really. You expect me to believe that? What happened to 'all that matters is that Lexa's safe'? Deny it all you want; but I know the truth, and I think you do to".  
"Truth, what truth?" Robin angrily snaps.

Raven takes a breath before continuing, "That you'd do just about anything for her. If she asked for your help; if she needed it. You'd be there in a heartbeat. Because at the end of the day, you do care. About her and a great deal of other things. People say all the time that they don't care anymore; but we both know it doesn't work like that. Just because they did something stupid, or hurt you; it doesn't erase the memories of everything else that they ever did for you".  
"It isn't worth it", Robin states bitterly.  
"Caring? I don't think that you truly believe that for a second", argued Raven.

 

Robin shakes her head sadly, "Caring is being crippled by the loss of that person. Caring is painful; because everything inevitably ends. The only guarantee in this life is death. So why would I want any part of it? When I know, without a doubt, no matter what I do, that it will hurt".  
Raven smiled, "Because for the right person; all the pain, all the heartache is worth it. Because what's the point of living if you don't take the time to enjoy the good moments.

 

▬ ஜ ۩۞۩ ஜ

 

The pair of them are silent for a solid twenty seconds before Robin speaks.

"Raven ...", she begins.  
"Yeah?", Raven answers.  
Robin continues, “If you ever tire of being a perpetual pain in the arse; you’d make a hell of a motivational speaker”.  
The snort that involuntarily escapes Raven's soon turns into a full blown laugh that leaves her gasping for breath.

 

▬ ஜ ۩۞۩ ஜ

 

"Take care of yourself Raven", Robin softly says before turning to leave.

"You're leaving?" Raven asks with a tone which could be mistaken for sadness. Which she wasn't - of course.

A slight smirk appears on Robin's face, "Well, as great as it is here, I better leave. I have places to be; people to kill. Or something along those lines anyway". Glancing over Raven's shoulder and noticing the tall figure watching her closely she continues, "Besides, I'm fairly sure I've overstayed my welcome".

Noticing Robin's clear discomfort at seeing Bellamy, Raven doesn't attempt to convince her otherwise. Instead she just advises the girl, "Be careful".

Robin nods before walking past her and towards the nearest exit. Being careful not to walk anywhere within the vicinity of the trigger-happy boy who was giving her the biggest death stare. When she's finally out of range of Raven's hearing she mutters to herself, "Never going to happen. Probably a good idea, but it sounds a bit boring. 'Be careful'. Yeah, right. That's definitely a possibility".

 

 

ஜ ۩۞۩ ஜ

 

As she slips through the slightly ajar gap in the gate she notices Bellamy keeping a safe, steady distance between the two of them. He's following her. Better yet, he hasn't seemed to realise that she's noticed him tailing her.

Robin knows that she should heed Raven's warning. She really does. But any common sense or restraint she may have possesed earlier today, was gone. She felt strangely empty - on the inside - for the first time in a while and it was messing with her head.

Dashing quickly through a line of trees, Robin quickly searched for the nearest high ground.  
If Bellamy wanted a fight, the least she could do was ensure it was half-decent. Seeing that he had a weapon; whereas Robin didn't, it raised his odds slightly in his favour.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The key word being 'slightly'.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Right. This is my first fan fiction ever. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.  
> Thanks for reading.


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